Year 2 Student Wins National Short Story Competition

"Do you have the crystal?" said Jim, the first burglar.

He heard no reply from Jill. "Jill Jill!" Still no reply.

He turned around ... there was Jill's body, a poison dart in her neck and the crystal was gone.

So begins the award-winning story by budding author Julien Hill.

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The Mystery Man

"Do you have the crystal?" said Jim, the first burglar.

He heard no reply from Jill.

"Jill Jill!" still no reply.

He turned around … there was Jill's body, a poison dart in her neck and the crystal was gone. It was all his fault. He brought Jill here.

A shadow went over him …

"Get out now." said a gloomy mysterious voice.

As fast as his burglar legs could carry him Jim sprinted out of the forest. The shadow retreated back into the forest's shelter.

"Why do I have to do this evil stuff!" exclaimed the mystery man.

"You have to work for me, Bob!" said his Master.

Meanwhile, in his laboratory in the city, Jim was working on another scheme to get back the crystal. He needed it to be invincible. Jim knew that he lost it in the forest. He had to go back there.

At the same time, in the forest, Bob was building a tree moving machine. He put the crystal in the machine then the whole thing glowed purple. Suddenly the trees closed the exit of the forest.

From his base, Jim ran back to the forest. "Where is the secret path?"

Jim groaned, "Here it is" He walked inside and the trees closed the entrance. After hours of fighting trees and bush walking, he finally found a door.

It was very rusty, he lunged at the handle and surprisingly he went straight through the door. He fell to the ground. He stood up, the door was an image.

"No wonder I fell."

But there was another door. "This is easy 1, 2, 3 … and jump!" said Jim and hit his head.

"It is not an image" he said. So he grabbed the handle of the door and gave a sharp tug.

The door opened easily, no sound was made. He walked in. There was a fire, a TV and a remote control. On it was an inscription:

Tree Moving Machine.

"Well, well, well…who do we have here?" cackled the Master.

"I… I… I am Jim." he replied, in a whispering voice.

Jim and the Master started circling and watching each other. Jim tried to kick the Master and hit him.

"Ouch" Jill screeched. Jim woke up. It must have been a bad dream!

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Julien is inYear 2 at Mt Keira Demonstration School, and his story, The Mystery Man, could easily be mistaken for the work of someone much older.

Julien's piece has just been named winner of the Write4Fun competition.

"I nearly fainted," the youngster said of the moment he heard of his national success.

Julien's initial inspiration for the short story was a poster at school and over the course of the next two weeks he completed The Mystery Man, workshopping his ideas with his mum and teachers along the way.

His prize was a Nintendo Wii for himself and $500 for the school, to be used for writing resources.

Published: 21/05/2009

Source: Illawarra Mercury

 

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Media | Short Stories

Write4Fun

Write4Fun.net was established in 1997, and since then we have successfully completed numerous short story and poetry competitions and publications. We receive an overwhelming positive feedback each year from the teachers, parents and students who have involvement in these competitions and publications, and we will continue to strive to attain this level of excellence with each competition we hold.