Y2K

• Kienan Quenette-phillips, Grade 9
• Short Story
• 2011

The Y2K Virus. In 1999 it was a big thing. Everyone nowadays thinks it was silly to think that the numbers “00” could cause planes to fall from the sky. Computer boffins around the world race time to fix it. Everyone thinks the boffins fixed it. But it was Aethelward.

The Boss, the leader of “The Secret Society Sworn To The Protection Of The People” (not that you know that) was giving a speech on the horrible news his foreign correspondent had reported, and a small crowd had turned out.
“Today, we’ve discovered a tragedy. We have discovered that Suddam Hussein has taken hostage of some of the greatest computer technicians in Iraq,” The Boss said, “And now he’s forcing them to work on something to de-stabilize the greater countries, like England, America…”
“Okay, we get the point! Suddam Hussein. Hostages. Plot to take over the world. C’mon, we hear that every time!” Someone in the small crowd yelled.
“But the plot is to destroy computers with a virus! Planes will fall out of the sky! Cars will stop working! Coffee machines won’t give sugar!” The Boss replied.
“A virus? For computers? What, is he gonna give them measles?”
“No, but we have sent someone to destroy this “virus” just in case he can make it.”
“Who?”
“Aethelward.”
“… Who?”

Aethelward crept towards the power plant. Of all the places to hide, this was one of the worst Hussein had had. A giant power plant in the middle of the desert? Not suspicious at all. He was going to need all that power to run his computers making the virus non-stop. So, follow the power lines, find Hussein, destroy his machines, kick some rear, leave, have tea, and boast that he saved the world. Easy as pie. Too bad he didn’t know how to make a pie.

“Okay, when you finish the virus, you will be able to see your families!” Suddam Hussein said.
“We don’t have families. We’re computer nerds.” Replied Fatin.
“Isn’t that awfully stereotypical and bias?” Suaddam questioned.
“Yes, but it’s true. By the way, bias is being kind toward someone more than another, not the opposite.”
“… Yeah, you’re nerds.”
“Stop where you are!” yelled Aethelward.
“No-one’s moving.” Replied Suddam.
“Exactly. You all stopped!”
“And who exactly are you?” asked Suddam.
“I’m Aethelward, and I’m here to kick bottom and drink tea. And I’m all out of tea!”
“Gee, where have I heard that before?”
“That would be a rip off of a famous computer game, sir.” Said Abl al Hakim, another computer boffin.
“I don’t care! How do you, Antrilvar, plan to stop me?”
“It’s Aethelward, and I’m gonna do it with explosives!”
“Umm… when will they explode?”
“What time is it?”
About 10:30, why?”
“OH S-“

Aethelward didn’t get to drink tea. The computer boffins all died in the explosion, except for Fatin, who still makes viruses today, and Suddam. The Y2K virus was destroyed. Coffee machines still give sugar.