The Journey To Belong

What does it really mean to belong: To something, to someone, somewhere? I’ve often asked myself this question, pondered its true meaning. No matter how much time and energy I put into it I never manage to come up with an answer.

The journey began after I fled from Iran leaving behind my family, culture, my sense of belonging and the inevitable danger that lived hand in hand with corruption and civil unrest. My transport was a leaky, unstable boat, and my destination -Australia.

The risk of death from embarking on this journey was not as great as the risk of staying and possibly dying in my country at the hands of my people. I heard that Australia was a good country and that many boats had made refuge there. The seven days I travelled on that boat, if you could even call it that, were the most frightening of my life each day was worse than the last. I had never been so famished and exhausted.

Still I was determined although my limbs ached for a proper bed, my heart prayed for a better life. We almost sank twice. Many times I thought it was the end and that I was going to die. However, this was not to be the case. We made it to Australia. I had no identification on me as that was taken with my money.

In Iran I was Jamal Ridden but in Australia I am a faceless person who has no place. I was forcibly taken from the clear waters of Australia, just inches away from the cusp of freedom.

The stretch of dirt was desolate, barren and dislocated the only thing in sight 400 lonely tents pitched in a row. Isolated with a voided concept of human rights, I fled to a new persecution. The only difference is that no one sought to kill me here in that way. Any place was better than Iran. I thought It would be different, I thought I could start again; release myself from the threatening bonds of Iran. Clearly, Australia didn’t sustain my hopes.

The days were so long that I eventually forgot what day it was, with nothing and no one to occupy your time on a daily basis, the 24 hour time cycle seemed an eternity. The blistering heat waves and dust storms that would transpire just added to my feelings of desolation and misery.

My hopeful expectations of a life of acceptance, rebirth, and camaraderie…all but dwindled from my mind. This was my reality now.

What I’m trying to say is that the one lesson that I have taken from my life’s challenges is that no matter who you are or where you are from the notion of belonging to somewhere, someone or something isn’t within our control, it is chosen for us by others. Unfortunately I’m still searching for that one place I truly belong. One day, maybe they’ll accept me.

By Paige Kenway


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