Going Down The Stairs In Love

I think Laurel is in love with the idea of falling in love. I, on the other hand get scared almost repulsed by the idea of falling in love. It seems like it hurts. Falling. Falling from where? How far will I fall? Will it hurt? It doesn’t seem very pleasant. I like the idea, though, of a staircase (one of those spiraling ones that seem like they can go on forever. I read somewhere that love can be infinite.) Laurel is racing down these stairs trying so hard to reach the bottom I can see her almost flying (or falling). I feel like these steps need time though, that if I take it slowly and steadily I’ll be able to see the bottom and any of the obstacles in the way. Another thing about taking your time is that if you get half way and decide its not right or not for you that its easier to get back to where you once were, at the top of the staircase. Laurel, has gone past the point that if things went wrong it’ll hurt to get back up. I’m scared for her, I’m scared that if something were to happen between her and Kelsey that she’ll come to me for comfort. I’m the last person that will want to comfort her. We were once so close and now I feel like she has replaced me with something new and shinier one that she have more fun with. Laurel was the only person I could talk to and the only person I wanted to talk to. When she left (she didn’t really leave, but it felt like she did) I had no one, I was forced to make the friends I have now and forced to become closer to others. I don’t regret it. Its one of the best things that happened to me, but it hurt, almost like falling down the stairs.

I’ve never been in love. I’m sure that if I had been I would know about it. But I haven’t. I can’t say that I wouldn’t race down those stairs along side my sister only that I don’t want to.

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