Depressed

• Madeline Hovey, Grade 5
• Short Story
• 2016

When I first met Liz, another doctor who visited daily, the only thing I noticed was the way she treated me. Other people would awkwardly try to sidestep the fact that I had depression or they pitied me. I hate pity, especially this kind, because it’s fake. In all my years, every time I met someone like this, I could see behind the mask of pity; the thought I was psycho, but Liz was different. There was no pity from her.
I watch as Liz stands in the door frame, her head twitching slightly. She walks in, and pulls the blinds down. I curl under my blanket as a wave of light hits me.
“Really, Elle,” Liz tuts. “It’s only sunlight,” I moan in response. “When are you going to get your life back on track? You have such a bright future”
“Had,” I mumble, glaring at her. “It’s gone now.”
“No, it’s not,” she snaps. “You can still do it. Tomorrow-” I cut her off.
“I’m not going.”
The blinding sunlight matches Liz’s smile as she pulls up the next day.
“I knew you would change your mind.”
“Only to shut you up,” I mumble, referring to the way she nagged to compete in the race.
I climb into the car and strangely feel as if the missing puzzle piece has fallen into place. Like the ocean at high tide, my sandcastle of sadness is washed away, just like my castle of happiness all those years ago.
As we approach the sports stadium I feel like a child again- I was rebellious and carefree and it cost my sisters life. As children, we would play a nonsense game in which we ran out onto the road and, one day, I pressured her to play. Her small body was crushed as I car zipped around and I stood there, watching her die. Months after the funeral, I fell into a deep depression, on and off throughout the years, without a cure.
That day, I lost everything that was important to me and now, I have the chance to change the guilt. If I win this one race, the prize is money. Money that can buy my sister a gravestone she deserves, back then, we couldn’t afford a proper one.
“Ready?” Liz asks.
“Ready,” I say, despite feeling sick to the stomach. My depression is pushed to the side as I take my place in Lane 5. All I can do is hope I win and repay my sister for everything. This, for me, could destroy my depression.