Demon

• Kamuran Guerra, Grade 8
• Short Story
• 2016

She is beautiful, she is like a red rose in a garden of daisies; she stands out. She makes me feel like I’m the only one alive when she is with me, she makes me feel beautiful, perfect, like I am unbreakable... but sometimes she isn’t like that. Sometimes she makes me feel worthless, like I’m a piece of trash ready to be thrown away, like I am nothing. She is the demon of your feelings, she is a strong demon, indestructible, when she hurts you, and it feels like you’ve been torn apart, like everything has gone blank. When I thought she loved me but then told me she loved somebody else... it was like thin glass has bees shattered. But then when she fixes me up, puts my pieces back together, back to how it was before she broke me,.. but not perfect.
You still see the cracks in the fixed glass as if they were my own battle scars. When I am fixed and she hugs me, it felt like magic. She is the demon that will not hesitate to break you many, many times, put you back together and convince you that it was only that time that she promises never to do it again, that she is sorry.
This demon is no Lucifer, she will not leave with the prayers of the ones you love; will not leave no matter how many times you tell her to go. She will start of as a small speck inside you... than the older you get, the bigger and stronger she will become. She will soon take over you, and there is nothing you can do about it.
She stole everything from me, she made me lose my mind, and she will make me go crazy when she wouldn’t show up when I needed her the most. But it was different when she would show up uninvited... I wouldn’t feel as happy as she made me when I enjoyed having her with me... she messed me up.
I would fall asleep fine, wake up perfect and then during the day, she would show up out of nowhere, I would tell her to leave, that I didn’t need her but she made sure that I did. She made me believe his beautiful lies. She is a thief, she steals the breaths and innocents off the young people she feeds on.
Does she feel bad? Of course she doesn’t, she doesn’t feel anything, not sympathy, not anger, maybe sometime she will feel jealousy and sadness.., but she would never feel sad for the soul she is feeding on. For the innocence he feeds on. She doesn’t care how you feel, only cares about himself and winning you over.
Jealousy.., she is jealous a lot of times, she is jealous when she sees you with the angel of happiness, when she sees that you aren’t worrying about how you look like in front of the one that the demon has chosen for you. She’s jealous that I need the angel more than her. She is weak when she is jealous, but when she realises that the angel isn’t as strong as she is, she pushes her away and returns to making you self-conscious again.
She knows that I have been hurt before, she knows what I am afraid of and she knows all of my insecurities. She came into my life after I felt true heartbreak after my best friend left me... when he left me stranded and wondering what I need to do with myself... that’s when she showed up, guiding me so I wasn’t wondering anymore, guiding me into her trap.
Her trap of hopelessness and self-doubt. She took control over me since that day. Since that day she made me feel lost, but at the same time like I had everyone around me. She was a beautiful nightmare. She made me scared but feel welcome at the same time. She made me confused with my feeling, that’s what makes her the demon of feelings.
She makes you doubt your every move. makes you think ‘should I really say that’ she whispers to you things that make you feel worthless, she whispers ‘he will think of you as a fool if you talk to him.’ She was a cold-blooded brute, wouldn’t let you do what you want. Has to be what she wants.
How you overcome the demon, it’s different for everyone, it was different and difficult for me. Took me many years, she will fight every time you try to get rid of her, and she will win that fight most of the time, but the only way to win Is to believe you can defeat the horrible demon she is.
When I defeated her she got jealous and more powerful and evil than she has been, her jealousy I finally moved on, and found out that I found someone who loves me for me, and won’t hurt me the way she used to. I defeated my strongest demon.
The one thing I thought I couldn’t get away from, the one thing that was holding me back from being who I was, making me put myself down like she was the anchor and I was too attached, I was attached to how she made me feel good than bad... but then the angel of happiness came and replaced the dark, faint colour inside me with bright colours.
She can have all my tears of all the heartbreaks she has caused me, she can leave scars and broken pieces behind because I have the angel fixing all her mistakes, leaving no scars, no breaks and no more wounds.
She has left me, searching for her next victim of her selfish act, she may try to come back to me, she may try to push the angel out of her spot, but the angel and I are stronger than she will ever be, and she will never bother me again. Because I have defeated my demon, and if you have doubt about defeating your demon, just remember you are stronger than that shadow of darkness.