Never Open An Umbrella Inside


Today was one of my worst of worst days that I have ever had. It was even worse than when my Gran showed me a pair of yellow and green bloomers in front of my crush, who then told everyone at school that I wore yellow and green granny bloomers.

I’m sure your dying to know why it was at the top of my list, well listen closely and I’ll tell you why. The horrible day started as soon as I woke up, actually I should say as soon as I was woken up by my older brother, Jake, who sneaked into my bedroom and poured porridge on my face. To make matters worse my dad said I wasn’t allowed a shower which meant at school I was going to stink.

After my breakfast I started to walk to school. Just to make my day even worse a bird left it’s droppings on my head. It started dripping down my nose and then my friend caught up with me.

“What the footle berries happened to you?” Sarah asked in astonishment.

I told her the whole story and we rushed to the bathroom to clean my smothered face.

When the bell rang we had to line up and go to class. Something was weird, everyone was laughing at me. Sarah then told me I had toilet paper stuck to my shoe.

At recess Sarah and I sat on the fence for a while. When we got down off the fence, the rear end felt quite breezy. People started pointing at me and giggling. So Sarah asked what I had done now. I then turned around and heard this.

“You have a massive hole in your dress where your undies are!” Sarah said trying not to giggle.

Could my day get even worse? Hopefully it couldn’t but life’s a mystery my Mum always says.

After recess we had science, which to be honest with you was very embarrassing .I fell asleep drooling all over my work. I woke up to paparazzi camera flashes. I was so surprised I hit my nose on the desk. This gave me a nose bleed. It dripped on my book. I ran to sick bay, on my way I bashed into a guest who was wearing a white dress. At least it was white until I arrived. I told her I was really sorry and she said kindly these things happen, I forgive you. Mrs Pinchler didn’t agree. She said trying not to explode, meet me in my office when you’re all cleaned up.

As I ran even faster I heard the guest giggle, I had forgotten about my gobsmacking giggle-worthy rear end. At sick bay Miss Merla wasn’t there. Instead, stood in front of me was Miss Marzden, who apparently is the scariest person in school.

When I was all cleaned up I realised Miss Marzden was actually very kind.

This is where my story finishes, here in detention. I now know I should never open an umbrella inside again. Whether my day gets worse or stays the same, you’ll have to wait and see.

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