Keep The Silence

• Olivia Britt, Grade 9
• Short Story
• 2010

Never one for wasting words, I say what I mean, I mean what I say. This time, it is aimed at you. You'd better listen to me as I tell you all about everything you've done wrong. You never take the blame- that's always me. But not today. Not when you deserve it.
My words rain down,
No longer water off a duck's back-
Piercing- a thousand daggers aimed at you.
I want to cause you to feel just a tiny bit of the pain that you caused me. Not all of it- that'd be too much. Just enough to make you wish you were dead, to wish that maybe, just maybe, this was a nightmare you hadn't woken up from yet.
See it, hear it, feel it-
Anger doesn't pass quickly.
This time it's aimed at you.
I don't want you to talk. I want you to listen! Stop talking- I want to talk. Stop yelling- I want to yell. I want you to sit there and take it. I want you to know how much it hurt when I saw you together. I want to know that I am not perfect- therefore I cannot forgive.
Hurt, pain.
Pain, rage.
Rage, aimed at you.
But you- you are less than imperfect. The very thing God tried to get rid of in the Flood. You must have hung on, like the leech you are. Maybe I shouldn't have followed you that day. I could have ignored the suspicion, every time I didn't know where you were. But I had to know. Didn't I?
Fall. Falling.
I see the abyss- no bottom.
You made me fall- it's your fault.
Yes. I had to know. I didn't deserve this. If you don't want to be with me, I don't want to be with you either. I've changed my mind- I don't want you to sit there on our couch and take it. I want you to yell back, so I can yell louder. I want you to tell me you're not sorry, so I can have an excuse to murder you and be done with it.
Crimson, crimson from my wounds.
You can't see it.
They're too deep in my heart.
I still feel sore. I don't want you anymore. Maybe I never did. I have no reason to now. I want you out of here. I want you out of my field of vision, want you out of my life. You can go back to that cow- I don't care. As long as I can pretend that you never existed.
I can heal.
I will heal.
And I will do it without you.
Don't tell me you can change- I won't listen to you. Don't tell me not to go- you can't stop me. I'm leaving now- there's nothing you can do about it. Don't say anything to me. Silence- talking would be a waste of your energy; I'm not listening to you, I never will again.
Shhh. Keep the silence.