I Don't Want To Be Me

One day I decided to be something else. I didn't like being a cup. A cup is a cup, only a cup, nothing special, just a silly old cup. I'll tell you why I don't want to be a cup any more.

I don't like being put into a mouth, it's disgusting! You know that cups have feelings, don't you. Do you want to know about the dishwasher? Oh! I just hate it. I know it makes me clean, but it hurts when the water squirts at me. I don't like the hot air either as it burns like mad.

I don't like being a cup. I think I want to be a fork, or a spoon or, or a knife. No, no, no I don't think I'll be that because they all go into that darn dishwasher and I hate the dishwasher!

Maybe I will be a vacuum cleaner. You don't have to go into the dishwasher and you get new bag when it's full. But you do get to vacuum up all the dust and all the other things. If I do name all the disgusting things they have to pick up, I'll be sick and you don't want that to happen.

Then what hmm, I could be a washing machine. It would be cool in the summer time. But you do get fabric softner and washing powder and sometimes smelly liquid poured into them, so I guess a washing machine is out.

What about a lawnmower. You get to go outside and be free. You see animals and birds. I see "Lawny" the lawn mower as he chases birds everywhere. It would be fun, but the sticks and twigs go under the blades and when they hit. Ouch! No I don't think so.

I can only think of one thing. That is to be a human. I wonder what that would be like. You can do everything you want. Is there anything bad about a human. I can't think of even a thing. I've got it. They litter! It's bad for the environment you know. I don't want to be like that.

I am glad I'm me, but it doesn't stop me hating the mouths and the dishwasher. Why cant humans wash me by hand. It wont hurt as much. Just don't drop me because I will break and then I will be thrown out in the rubbish.

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