False Hope

Staring…I’m always staring. Constantly lost in the swirl of all new emotions that slowly cripple my body…trying to gain control. Entering this entirely different world, I knew it was going to be different being a teenager, but I never knew to an extent how cruel it would be. Childhood is instantly stolen, revoked and dreams were ridiculed and frowned upon if it isn’t the latest fashion. This new world is full of judgmental glares, and skin that obviously had been covered in make up; just like covering one’s true selves. The constant smell of over sprayed perfumes and the colours of hair dye fill my senses. I look around as all the people seem lost, only to turn towards the poser’s and flock like sheep to crowds of look a-likes. Sad really how they seemed to have misplaced there free will. I continue to watch them all, mistake after mistake. Regret after regret.

Even the language changes as it all turns to cursing, and originality and independence ends up in discrimination. I remember when I was younger, a life of simplicity. Running freely, talking and enjoying life with friends. Some friends that grow up and abandon you when you need them most, which separates your true friends from imposters. Whispers of lies and ignorance of feelings fly in the wind as they develop into rumors that spread like wild fire, but everyone gets burned in the end. Many new emotions arise, one that can take over a person’s body and make a lifelong mistake. I stare at the underage pregnant students in the news, television and my own town. There just young girls, and yet they gave there innocence and virtue to the false pretense of being loved. I wander looking for a sign if this is all real, or a sick joke my mind made, but instead I find drugs, alcohol and the need to be accepted for something your not. The darkness of it all seems everlasting. I look to the sky, the stars, the moon but the clouds have stolen the only light that breaks through the dark. But I continue searching, waiting for my sign and continue to believe in false hope that the wrongness of it all will change for the better. I have waited 4 years and nothing so far, but I continue to believe. There will come a day when people will wake to a person they do not know, and stare into the mirror to see a stranger. One day people will graciously get along, willing to love and care for every person around them not taking into consideration of colour of skin, hair and status. The day finally peace, love and acceptance will breach the walls of hate at schools and towns and flow forth to create happiness for all. But that day may never come, so I keep believing in myself, my dreams and my false hope.

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