I Know What I Have To Do Now

My eyelids pry themselves away from each other and the world tips on its end.
All is silent, except for the therapeutic thundering of my engine, my heart beating steadily, pounding like a drum.
Slowly, shapes merge into form and I can see that rock-face, Mocking. Mocking me for ever attempting the inevitable.

As my vision clears, so do my jumbled thoughts, like the final pieces fitting a jigsaw puzzle. Panic wakes in my stomach and starts to run laps. I remember. I search around wildly and i see it a few feet away, my other climber. I drag my heavy legs across the dirt and jagged rock shaped like teeth. My hands are grazed and feeling that warm sticky liquid lets me know that I'm alive. I am moving like a mouse stuck in a jar of honey. I reach the body and frantically search for signs of life, all that is received in return is a large blue and green alien looking lump rising from her pale and clammy forehead. I stare at her, I know what I have to do now.

My arms begin to cross over and my fingers connect comfortably, like keys to a lock. My mouth opens and is drawn to hers. My hands find that familiar spot on the rock hard sternum. As my mouth touches, i exhale a long and strong breath and can feel my own warm spirit traveling through her lungs, willing them to awaken from their slumber. My hands pump time and time again, my life pulsing out through my arms and into her chest, like sparks from a firework, massaging her heart.
My arms tingle and my head feels light as I give part of myself so that she may continue to feel life. I have the rhythm, just me and my heart, beating for two.

As I get tired, I remember.
Turning to her, smiling and we share a laugh together. I pull a weary leg up and hear a crack that shatters my happiness and my ears. Wildly, I look up and see the bright red rope screwed into the rock, begin to drawn closer to me, like a magnet. The rope around my body that once felt tight and safe, like a mothers hug, now feels loose and incredibly unsafe. I watch in slow motion as the rope comes loose and I scramble for a handhold, but I have reached the smooth part of the rock.
The cold realization that I cannot grab onto any hand holds, the feeling of helplessness as my weight fights against the iron fist of gravity, the sound of her piercing scream flood into my head.

A pair of strong arms enclose me , pulling me away from the dark corridor of my thoughts. I melt into the protective arms, away from her.

I see the shiny plastic of a defibrillator engulf her and the unnatural electric pulses ravish her small body.
Realization settles like dust over me as the cords are wrapped up, that she is no longer warm and full of life, laughter and love. Her skin is cold and hostile, just like the green alien lump on her forehead.

The breath is knocked out of me as I see my little sister pronounced dead at 16:42 in the afternoon, due to a severe haematoma of the frontal lobe. My frantic C.P.R. couldn't have saved her, but I can still feel her in me, my heart feels lonely after breathing for hers for over and hour.
I am embraced by the strong arms once again and all I can hear is her laughter, doing what she loved best.

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