I Can Change (Honey)

• Andrew Brown, Grade 11
• Short Story
• 2011

If I could only hold you in my arms one last time. Feel the comforting warmth of your body against mine. Our hearts beating as one for all time.
I refuse to believe.
Honey can you hear me? Hang in there. Everyone's gone; it's just you and me.
Why were you so angry? Why am I accusing you? Why were you accusing me?
So many questions that I need answered? I'd give anything to hear you speak. Your sweet voice, so many times scolding me and so many times soothing me when I was depressed.
But where was I when you were sad? There to comfort you? No. To be a good husband? No.
Only there to criticize. To order you around like you were my personal slave and nothing more. I didn't care for your emotion and I didn't care for your love. I thought I did. I only cared for myself.
Susan I see it now, I can change. I'll be better husband. We can go on walks and hold hands. Just like we did when we were young and my love for you was one-hundred per cent real. We can have kids that you so desperately want, and I'll be a good husband and a good father. You'll see.
We will move, far away from everyone. We will have a small acreage, in a valley. Where a river runs, like a silvery tear upon the untouched landscape of the grassy meadow. We could even have a few head of cattle.
Baby, I'll take you anywhere. Just take my hand I’ll show you the way. The way to a better life, to a better future.
A fresh start. Susan it will be the start of our new life. We will be happy. I'll put a smile on your face again. And our love will blaze fiercely again, like the sun set on the summer evening on the pier from which I first laid eyes on you, my darling.
I've been the reason for all your pain. Everything is my fault. I'm sorry. Is that enough for you Susan?
I'll show you I side of me you've never seen. I'll make that change for you Susan. Just please come back, squeeze my hand. Show me you’re alive, I refuse to believe.
You’re just sleeping; I can see it in your face. You’re at peace when you’re asleep. Always beautiful, you have never changed Susan. I did you wrong baby, but why it does take such an accident as this to blow away the fog from my eyes.... To see my mistake.

Say something. Open your big round innocent ebony eyes. Darker than a starless sky but brighter than any star. If only you could hear me. You would be proud Susan.
But you didn't die. It's not possible, that car didn't hit you that hard.
Everyone's against me Susan. Doctors, nurses even your parents. I don't care for them or anyone else. All I want is you.
I'll change honey. I'll know what it means to love again.
Just come back.
Please. I'm so cold.
Hug me. Let me feel your warmth again.