War Inside My Mind

• Skye Ranicar, Grade 9
• Short Story
• 2011

I see the sun slowly setting behind me, a ray of colour following me as I half heartedly trudge down the darkening, deserted beach. The last few rays disappear as the sun slips over the mountains in the distance. I start to notice the shadows following me, creeping behind me, looming over me, waiting for me. I start to jog, faster and faster, I need to get away before they notice my struggle, I need to find the light before it is too late. As the bright town lights come into view, my breath starts to labour and my legs slow, I finally collapse on the porch of an old run down shack. As my breath calms, I hear the door slowly creak open and the whole house shudders with the effort. Scared, I quickly scramble to my feet and look up through my lashes, trying to look as innocent as possible. As I do, I see the face of a young man, face contorted with worry but eyes shining with anger, I see his arm reach out to me but before he can touch me I am gone, away with the wind.

I run swiftly, my feet carrying my body with speed, as I weave in between the surrounding buildings. I hear the shadows catching me as I round the corner, nearly falling over as I turn and make the short dash towards my house. As I reach my front door, I stumble but quickly recover and reach for my key that is hidden deep in the folds of my jacket, slotting it into the key hole and turning. I wrench the door open and quickly slam it shut again, before the shadows have a chance to reach me. I can hear them pounding on my door, yelling at me to let them in and give them there fill, I just can’t take it anymore. I slide to the floor with my head in my hands, trying to block out the deafening sounds that surround me. Tears threaten to spill over as I lay, fear and loneliness creep into my heart and spread throughout my body. With the feeling of defeat in my mind, I slowly slip into an uneasy sleep, filled with all of the terror that faced me that day.

My brain awakens and my body starts to stir, all the events from last night flood back into my head, my mind is going crazy but I don’t know why. I jump up from the ground, cringing as the pain in my muscles sear through my legs, I limp, slowly to the window and cautiously peak outside, in search of light. My eyes are blinded from the sudden change and I instantly relax, they can’t get me in the light, they may follow and watch me but they can’t get me. The voices in my head say it is time for another unclean person to leave this world and I know they are right, too many people need saving from this world and I need to help them to the other side. I gather my gear with speed and rush out the door, there is no time for breakfast, too much work to be done.



I see a woman walking down the street, struggling to pull her children, along with her huge bag of groceries. Her eyes search for me in the crowd and I know she has been waiting for me to arrive and take her away. I swiftly walk over to her and put my hand over her mouth, there was no point screaming I was determined to help her and my other half was telling me she was the one. I drag her writhing and kicking into an alley and pull out my large, shining knife. One of her children is yelling at me to stop, the other is sitting in the corner, eyes wide with terror and hands shaking in fear. Before she can escape, I slide the sharpened blade across her throat. Dark, red blood starts to flow freely down her neck and onto her clothes, staining her white top with rivers of red.

I jump to my feet and begin to run before I encounter any trouble that may follow my kind hearted act. As I am running down the street, I see two big, mean looking policemen coming towards me. I know they must be going to help the woman I saved, she doesn’t need help now! I quickly stop running so I don’t look suspicious, as I do I feel the knife slip from my grasp under my cloak and everything goes into slow motion as the knife become visible and falls. It clangs on the hard ground beneath me and I pray the policemen do not notice but I’m in no such luck. Both the policemen turn to face me and it takes them a few seconds to register what they had just witnessed. I give them no time to think, twisting around and sprinting away, I run as fast as my trembling legs would take me. My struggling mind tells me to run home but the second me knows I can’t and tells me to run another way and see if I can lose them.

I turn and duck and dive, trying to get away from these horrible men chasing me, trying to punish me for what I did. As I round the corner, I see a bridge in my peripheral vision and realize that God was on my side and has given me a way to end the suffering going on in my mind. I race to the centre of the bridge and climb the railing. When I am sitting on the side of the bridge, my second half starts yelling at me not to jump but I don’t listen to it anymore, it has run my life for years and I need to free myself from its controlling grasp! As I come to this realization my body begins to crumple and for once I feel normal. As I feel the wind flying around my body, I know that it was not enough to be normal, now I was free.