Falling And Flying

Falling and Flying

The callous chill of the cold air whispered silently into my ear. Anticipation ran through my veins like started gazelles in the open plains, nervousness seemed to embalm my stomach. I felt every shade of fear.I clenched my hand, my eyes sealed themselves shut, lined with a film of my tears.

As I stood on the edge between falling and flying I remembered once when we went to visit my grandfather’s grave. The cemetery was up on a hill, a cliff side. I don’t know how it happened, but the car skid out of control, and the car went tumbling down the cliff, into the grave sea. I was lucky and escaped the cruel, thirsting waves.

I felt the tightening around my waist, amidst the air seamlessly bending into sea everything around me assumed a deafening silence. I closed my eyes.

I could see the waves white teeth, I could see a little car at the bottom, and a child straining to get to safety, I could see the blur of the child’s tears in her eyes and the people around her that didn’t understand her pain. I could see her screaming at the waves, the people and her parents. I could see that she was lost.

I realised that little girl was me and a reflection of my past life. I realised that I didn’t have the will to live, that I should just fall into a deep sleep of unconsciousness right now. That people can never feel the way I do - except maybe my aunty.

No, no I can’t just leave. To the world I may just be one person, but to one person, my aunty, I am the world. I won’t let my aunty feel the pain that I had. My aunty takes care of me, and she loves me. I will never think like that again.

I moved slowly closer to the edge – and let my body drop. I felt my feet lift off the ground. Time seemed to slow down, and the world had stopped moving…

…But not I. I felt the embrace of the curling wind, the air moving through my fingers like stream of laughter and then I felt the tug of the rope tied around my legs.

I screamed and felt the echo of my voice, the laughter filled the air and the feeling was real. The cord lifted me up, and then down again. My fear was long gone. I felt like I was flying and for the first time ever I felt freedom.

“You did well for your first fall” the bungie instructor complimented.

“My second actually” I said softly to the wind.


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