Never Teach A Forgetful Person How To Cook

• Imogen Pinelli, Grade 5
• Short Story
• 2013

This is what happens when you teach a person that suffers from short term memory loss how to cook.
So there's this guy that I know (well, now knew) who suffers from short term memory loss. Someone taught him how to cook and he forgot. But he didn't know. So he gave it a shot and ended up in hospital. Unfortunately, he didn't make it.
And to make things worse, his baby grand daughter Anita takes his example and just goes right ahead and turns the stove on and plops her nappy in. (Surprising how clever babies can be, isn't it?) This may sound pretty weird but, Anita's poo was SO flammable that the house, as well as Anita, instantly disintegrated. And as the house (as well as Anita) falls down into a pile of dust, a lizard at the scene gets his tail caught on fire.
The lizard takes no notice and lively runs back to its family, leaving a trail of fire on the dead bush following it. A rabbit not far away from the trail of fire climbs out of its burrow, awoken from the crackling. It begins journeying along but without knowing steps on the trail.
Its hop turns into a bolt as it feels the stabbing pain beneath its feet. The rabbit aims to run for a pond but is stopped by a shrill shriek and lots of gagging sounds. The massasauga snake quickly finishes its meal and slides off.
Then it stops.
Then it starts again.
But then it stops again, beginning to feel that something's not right.
It begins to feel the same pain that the rabbit was feeling not long before and it skids for the same pond the rabbit was aiming for. But before it got the chance to take a drink, it caught in the legs of a passing vulture.
Now I know you have been waiting a while for the end of this. Just hang on for a little more and then you can run along.
The vulture's claws catch fire from the snake and the flames spread across its body. The bird begins flying off course and lands into a puddle of water. The snake was still clutched in the vulture's legs; neither of which were any longer alive.
Well, that's the end. The guy who suffered from short term memory loss, Anita (his baby grand daughter,) the lizard, the poor rabbit, the massasauga snake and, finally, the vulture.
So, just remember, NEVER teach a person that suffers from short term memory loss how to cook.