Hamburger War

• Luisa Coffey, Grade 5
• Short Story
• 2013

I was staring at it. The best hamburger I had ever seen. It had crispy lettuce, juicy tomatoes, warm cheese, sour dough bread and best of all, a homemade beef hamburger. I was just about to take my first bite of heaven, it was so delicious that I did not even realise I had accidentally pushed the edge of my plate. I walked slowly up to Mum to ask when everyone would get here. We were the first at the cafe and my brothers friends were coming.

Bang! I turn around. My brother knocks my beautiful hamburger off the table! Dirty cheese, tomatoes stuck to the ground, my brother stepping on the sour dough bread! I screamed, my beautiful hamburger was ruined. Mum just stared because that was the last hamburger they had. My mouth watering stopped and disappointment swelled in me like a tsunami.

I went to bed that night feeling angry. Did my annoying brother do this on purpose or was it an accident? I decided the only way I would solve this mystery was if I spied on my silly little brother.

Phase one: I would invite his best friends over and he would show off his latest pranks with them. But I would listen to every word that Jake would say to his friends.
Phase two: I would invite Jess over to help me spy. This might be fun.

“Hi Nicky!” shouted Jess. “Okay, what has Jake done this time?” I explained to Jess about my delicious hamburger and we decided to listen to Jake and his friends’ discussions while we pretended to play near them. Then we heard silly Jake saying, “I played the best prank on Nicky yesterday. I pretended to trip and bumped her hamburger so that it fell off the table.” There was a sheepish laugh from Jake and giggling from his buddies.

This meant war! Me and Jess vs. Jake, Luke and Harry. They call themselves the JLH Cool Boys. Well, they would be well cooled down by the time we were finished with them!

We start with a simple but cunning plan. We got some hamburger rolls, lettuce and tomatoes but we make the beef hamburger from some of my baby brother’s mixed up Playdough. We put all the hamburgers out as if Mum has arranged lunch for everyone.

I called out, “Lunch is ready boys!” as we walked past them with our ‘real’ homemade hamburgers.

There was a bolt from the three of them as they sped up to the kitchen. The next thing Jess and I heard was, “Awh chewy!” “ Ahh yuk!” “Who made these?” Now Jess and I were the ones giggling! Maybe the Playdough hamburgers were the best hamburgers ever.

But the next evening when we went to the library, I looked in the window of every cafe we went passed to see if there was a nice hamburger. I can still remember the watery feeling in my mouth and I think I can hear the crunch of the lettuce of the best hamburger that I nearly had.