Harriet The Hiccupper

• Katherine Jolly, Grade 6
• Short Story
• 2013

My name is Harriet, and I have one BIG problem. I hiccup all the time and I can’t stop! So that’s me, Harriet The Hiccupper. When did I start my life of hics? Well, actually I didn’t start, I was born and still am the record breaking Hiccupper.
Now you may think that hiccupping, and hiccupping, and hiccupping, may drive me nuts, but I learned to live with my habit. Although, hiccupping all the time may have its disadvantages… One morning, at a school assembly, Mr Walsh (the school principal) was giving a very boring speech. It was hard for me and for others to concentrate because I had this really bad cold, and every time I hiccupped (which is all the time) it made me want to sneeze, so it sounded a little bit like this: “Hic!…Achoo!…Hic!…Achoo!…”. Mr Walsh tried to ignore my sniccupping (cross between sneezing and hiccupping) and the sniggers of the other amused pupils and carry on with his boringly boring speech, he didn’t last long though, finally he asked me to leave. Now THAT was pretty embarrassing, unfortunately, it wasn’t the only embarrassing thing that happened to me through my life of hics… One evening, my parents were having dinner with some friends. I was gulping down water from my cup when I went “Hic”, I choked and instinctively spat my water, unluckily, it landed on one of the guest.
Anyway, its better if I stop there, because it will take 200 pages to explain ALL my mortifying moments caused by my endless hiccupping.
Of course, I didn’t just carry on with my life without even trying to get rid of my hic, hic, hics. Believe me, I have tried absolutely EVERYTHING, from drinking upside to holding my breath, and oh how many, many people tried to scare me (pff, like that worked). And ALL of them failed. My mum tried consulting doctors about my habit, but they all said the same thing: “Harriet just has a habit of hiccupping, it will go away as she gets older” (yeah, right) Except one…
Her name was Dr Hill, she told me there was a cure for my everlasting hiccupping. Wow, (said I sarcastically) I mean, I was sure I tried everything, and I was also sure there wasn’t anything that could cure me. But, as much as I was persuaded nothing could turn me, Harriet the Hiccupper into just plain Harriet, I decided to go with it.
Dr Hill said she did some research and her idea was to do all the possible “cures” all at the same time. So I drank upside down while holding my breath with people coming up and scaring me. Then, I waited for a “Hic”. But it never came. I couldn’t believe it! I was no longer Harriet The Hiccupper! (though it took me a while).
So no matter how much times your attempts fail, keep trying and one day, things will go your way.