Casey Hewitt, Grade 9
As his eyes open my heart stops, this is what I’ve been waiting for my whole life. I can feel the hole in my chest that was Jack’s passing being filled up just by his presence. I lift my hand off the coarse hospital bed and up to his face instantaneously. Ah, as I touch his face it’s as if I’m touching an angel, all the pain that was my life before he even existed is now gone and all that I can think of is him. It’s weird to think that this one tiny little creature could mend my heart of stone.
What was my life before him? Even if I can remember I know now that it means nothing now that he’s real. No life can be compared to my life now that I don’t have to imagine what my baby boy looks like anymore! Those big blue eyes look up to me as if I am an angel to his life… My past proves that’s not the case. Again, I’m reminded of the funeral that ate my soul up, the funeral that cut my wrists, oh how I miss Jack, I wish he was here to see his baby boy... No, I won’t think of him, I’m not going to ruin this beautiful moment.
What’s that noise? I painfully tear my eyes away from Jasper long enough to realise that someone is talking to me. She is talking to me but I can’t hear her, I am too awe struck by Jasper to possibly care what this nurse could be saying. A hand clasps around my forearm and I immediately tighten my grip on Jasper and look up at the forceful nurse. But she doesn’t look forceful at all. In fact she looks sad, why could she possibly be sad at a time like this! “Excuse me Ma’am we need to have a check up on the baby” She moves so that her arms are around Jasper, picks him up and lowers him on the other side of the room where the cot lays, my arms hover where Jasper once laid and the hole in my chest is back.
As I stare at the nurse, I notice something wrong in the nurse’s eyes. As she is lowering the stethoscope around her neck, she looks at me then quickly looks away at Jasper. As I follow her gaze I realise, Jasper… he’s not crying, aren’t babies supposed to cry when they are born? I forcefully say to her “Can I have Jasper back now?” I painfully reach my arms out for her to give Jasper back, which is a struggle as I’m so weak. But, she doesn’t give him back. “Ma’am, I’m sorry…” A tear roles down her cheek. My heart skips a beat as I leap from my hospital bed to the cot on the other side of the room and stare at Jasper lying still. I gasp and pull a hand to my face, I scream.