Haunted

The dark knights rise, conquering the sky. The bright light grows feeble as the clouds slowly overtake the atmosphere. Translucent ghosts form before me as I exhale, whispering as they die away. The lush beasts cackle as they sway from side to side hauling their huge limbs with every motion. The taste of the nights’ dinner is still bitter in my parch mouth as I try to wash it away with saliva.
I stand alone on the remote island observing the district under the black sky with only the vague street lights guiding me. “I hate this place.” I think to myself. It is now five years since I was last here, yet everything still looks the same; the verdant mountains located near the meandering stream are as rugged as ever while the roads are still desiccate and jagged. The dim street lights still flicker on and off every two seconds and the old wood chalets still queue neatly along the far edge of the road. But, one thing certainly has changed, the sign. The new sign is bold and conspicuous as if it has just been painted yesterday .It stands beside the row of cottages under the street light. It’s hard to see with only one light in the block but I can clearly make out the words. “Drive Slowly. Road is Dangerous! ” The words, print out big and vivid on the steel sign.
I try not to reminisce. I recall many good times in the island of Luva but I feel grotesque about the feeling. Afraid, anxious, I experience a strange agitation. My mind wanders off slowly getting closer to that sinister place. “No. Dev, don’t go there,” the faint voice startles me and my mind resumes back in to reality.
For the past three years, I’ve been battling in my own head, dealing with my own thoughts and fighting with my own demons. I restrain myself from going near the situation of trying to recall negative memories that cause me unimaginable agony but ever since the accident, I have spent more time by myself repeating the events in my head all over again, filling my head with images of Tim.
“Help me!” the shrilling voice resonates in my head. My head starts flooding with memories of him. “Help me Dev!” He is in pain. A dark red liquid slithers down the side of his face. I just stand and gape down at him. Tim’s eyes are wide open, but he isn’t looking at me. I follow to where his gaze is fixed at and to my surprise, the sign that read ‘Slow Down, Road Is Dangerous’ was now vanished.
A clear bead rolls down my pale cheeks at the thought of him. “This is entirely my fault! If I just didn’t force him in to doing anything, none of this would happen!” I whimper.
It was an obscure night and Tim and I were having a boy’s night out. The alcohol drinking age limit was 18 and we were just in luck. As always, we celebrated with a few games but this time, it had gotten more serious. I dared Tim to prove to me that he still wasn’t a kid by speeding on the road at about ninety kilometers per hour. Tim repudiated many times until I forced him in to it. I knew the road wasn’t perfect but I just wanted to see an entertaining show.
I can hear the faint engine of the car starting from the end of the road. It is only seconds before the sound grows deafening. “Zoom!” The car races by. I run after it giggling all the way.
“Boom!” I see Tim flying about a meter from the car crash. Masses of debris fly in every direction. I rush to the scene.
“Tim! Tim!” I recall screaming his name several times. “Tim! Don’t leave me here! Hang on Tim!” But Tim is not replying. Blood pours out from around his ribs. The sign he’d hit is now demolished to bits and pieces. His mouth is moving but there are no words coming out of his mouth. “Tim! Stay with me buddy!” I dig my head in to his chest and within minutes, I hear a siren.
Now here I am, struggling with my own thoughts. His death is haunting me every time I am alone. I just cannot get his face out of my head.
“You’re a murderer!” The faint voice withers away. With my hands tight in clenched fists, I punch the air and tears start flowing down in ripples on my face. My only memory of Tim is his face just before he had taken his last breath, before he gave up and before he left this world. Is this how I should remember my best mate? Just a picture of him in my head with blood all over his face?
Just then, I had an epiphany. “This isn’t what Tim would want!” I can faintly remember reading his lips when he uttered his last few words. “Keep moving forward buddy. Forget about me and just keep moving forward.”
“Keep moving forward. Keep moving forward.” I repeat the phrase in my head. Tim is right. I have been trapped in my head for too long. I am just haunting myself with memories of my past but all I need to do is to let it go and live life as it is. Tim’s death shouldn’t be something I should dwell on because mourning time is over. My best friend’s death is something I should let go of and should be a stepping stone for time that is to come.
A few months fly by and I return again to the beautiful island of Luva. Across from me is the sign. The sign is now just a faint memory. I am healing but haven’t fully recovered. I have let go of my past but I haven’t forgotten. My painful memories are now just guidelines for the future.

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