Daughter

• Kalani Wheeler, Grade 10
• Poetry
• 2014

You hate him.
Not him specifically, but how he changes- one moment all right’s with the world, you’re his daughter and he’s so proud, and the next thing you know, you’re just a waste of time.
You think maybe you’re a little like him and that’s what makes you clash so much. But you don’t want to be like that, you can’t be, you won’t be, because you’re stronger than that, better than that, aren't you?

Maybe you’re not. Maybe you’re both the same –like father, like daughter, after all.
When you were younger, you were so proud, pointing, saying “That’s my dad!”, you loved him and he could do no wrong, because Dads know best, don’t they?
But as you grew up, some things just didn't sound right to you, some things he said hurt you for weeks on end. But Dads know best, and so you must have been bad, and that’s why you were being punished.

Then- you aren't exactly sure when this was- you both snapped. Fight after fight after fight. You always lost. Not just the fight, but maybe your books this time, oh no, that was last time, let’s take the music away.
That was the first time you said you hated him, and you immediately regretted it. You apologized, over and over, but he would have none of it. Bed without dinner, and no, you may not-
That was how things were for a while.
Things became worse when you fought less, because at least fights were something you could count on, at least when you were angry, you knew you were angry.
But when he’s all smiles and oh, I’m so glad we’re getting along, lulling you into thinking maybe, maybe, it’s different this time, he’s different, right before it all just breaks.

But Mr Nice Guy is back now, it’s all happy, happy, happy, only you keep waiting for yourself to make the wrong move, and then the Big Bad Wolf will return with a vengeance.

You don’t know what to think.

You’re so close to being done, nearly pushed past your breaking point, and then it’s quiet for a while. You think maybe things are settling down.

You’re wrong. You always are.

You wait for a day when you aren't, although you know it may never come.