F2M

• Edin Kvrgic, Grade 9
• Short Story
• 2015

My name is Din, I’m 14 years old. I live in Victoria. I’m transgender female to male which means I was born a boy in a girl’s body. I live at home with my mother, my older sister, and my younger brother. When I disclosed my identity to my family, at the start they really didn’t understand what it meant but after a while they learnt what transgender meant and they were supportive, and accepting. I am thankful to have a family that respects and helps me get through hard times. I’m in grade 9 this year at Red Cliffs Secondary College and school is very supportive and accepting for who I am, I wouldn’t come out to any other school. I know I haven’t been the best student but all I can do is try my best. My father lives in Queensland so it’s hard to see him when I need to, he is accepting for who I am, he says no matter what I’m his kid and he loves me and being myself won’t change anything.
Waking up each day knowing I’m someone else, I’m seeing a different person when I look in the mirror, and the person behind the mirror isn’t me. I have to wake up to a body that isn’t me. I have always wished I would wake up in my own skin.
My chest is one of my big struggles every day. I have to strap them down every day to hide my disgusting body. I’ve tried sports bras and bandages but nothing works even duct tape I have tried but it doesn’t do its job cause all it does is make me uncomfortable and unable to breathe. I was able to get a binder from another transgender guy, it worked for a while but it got worn out because I have big chest which makes it harder to bind my chest and have it look how I want it to look. I just can’t wait until I get top surgery. It will change everything.
My voice is another struggle because it is high and most boys my age have a deep voice already because they went through puberty like a normal boy does not like me that still has a girl’s voice. It’s harder for me to pass as a male and people would mistake me as a girl instead of a boy. That’s why I’m praying to start Testosterone as soon as possible.
Wearing a jumper to cover up my unwanted body is very hard in the hot weather because I would love to take it off but my disgusting body is stopping me, I get dehydrated quite a lot but I am emotionally comfortable just physically uncomfortable. When I’m wearing no jumper I’m physically comfortable but emotionally uncomfortable.
Can’t wait for June when I go down to Royal Children’s hospital to start my transition from F2M.