I Can't Always Be Strong
Gracie Carroll, Grade 7, Castlemaine Secondary College
The cold tears drip down my face like little drops of rain on a dark winter’s day. I pick up my phone and dial Erin’s number, she picks up almost instantly like she was waiting for me to call. Well I guess she was, considering how many times I’ve called her these past few days.
“Hey Laura, how you going?” Erin asks even though she knows how I’m going… the same as I have ever since I found out the other day that Luke my ex-boyfriend was cheating on me.
“The same” I reply to Erin as cold silent tears roll down my pale, lifeless cheeks.
“He doesn’t deserve you! You are way too good for him!” Erin basically yells down the phone trying to comfort me. But it doesn’t really work. I loved him. I love him. Even though everything he said to me, all the late night conversations, all the promises, he was promising to someone else. I don’t reply to Erin, I just continue crying.
“Ok look” Erin continues speaking. “I know you loved him” she says in a softer, calmer tone.
“I-I do love him” I manage to get out through tears streaming down my cold, pale face on to my lap making a clear mark on my dark blue denim jeans.
“Ok, I know you love him,” Erin continues “but he’s moved on, and so should you!”
“I can’t” I start crying even harder.
“I know your hurting right now, but trust me, it will get better! You will feel better again before you know it. You just have to move on.” Erin says even though I don’t think that’s possible!
“I don’t think I can” I reply feeling as if Luke had been saying everything to purposely hurt me in the end.
“I know how you feel, but you are going to have to try! Do you want to spend the rest of your life crying and being upset? Or do you want to move on from this and get a fresh start?” Erin asks
“I want to move on” I reply.
“Then do it! You won’t have to do this alone, I’ll help you and I’ll never leave your side.” Erin says. I swear I’m the luckiest person ever to have a friend like Erin!
“Remember what I told you the other day?” Erin asks.
“You have to use this pain to drive you to work harder and dream bigger.” Erin repeats what she told me the other day, but only now I’m realising what it actually means. I can’t spend the rest of my life like this, I need to get out and be who I want to be and work for everything I want to do as hard as I can. And I know I don’t need a man by my side to help me with that, I just need to believe in myself and believe I can do it!