Sally The Dunce

• Tom Dering, Grade 8
• Short Story
• 2015

Sally the Dunce wasn’t as smart as she should have been (she once managed to trip over a cordless phone, and the phone itself was sitting in a different room). Now picture in your mind a girl who looks like she is 10 years old but really is 180 (she was so stupid she didn’t know she was supposed to age) wearing a red shirt covered in drool, glasses and jet black hair (it isn’t only blondes who are dumb). Now, normally this was fine, she lived with her carer Doug in the Norwegian branch of the sunshine happidale brightfuture farm. All this changed one fateful day when she was watching cartoons and one showed people in Australia climbing to the tops of mountains in the NSW alps and falling into space. Now Doug thought nothing of it at the time because Sally kept on drooling like normal, but suddenly in the middle of the night the guard cows raised an alarm of a little girl escaping a puddle of drool. ‘’ It was just like, moooo, walked through tha wall sirrrr’’ said one of the guard cows, which it was generally agreed afterwards that it was because she was so stupid she didn’t know that walls were solid. After the escape Mr Maple, the manager of sunshine happidale brightfuture farm immediately assembled a crack team of guard pigs to look for her. They were all organised into five units consisting of three pigs each. Bacon 1 was instructed to look in the airport. Unluckily, the airport was advertising trips to Australia with huge maps of Australia with arrows pointing to where to board for each flight. Bacon one saw her just as soon as she waddled on to the flight. Bacon one rushed to catch her but the plane just took off before they could catch her. Bacon one boarded the next flight to Austrtalia. When Sally got to the shores of Australia she saw a huge mountain, which she proceeded to climb. Bacon one landed in Australia and pulled out their mini helicopter and then tried to intercept Sally. Sally walked straight through them though because she forgot she was supposed get on the helicopter and she walked through it instead. Then she reached the top and then fell off, into space. Don’t worry about her though, she forgot she was supposed to die from no oxygen. Now the morale of the story is, it saves a lot of time looking after happyshacks