I Hate Teleports

• Lela Eder, Grade 5
• Short Story
• 2015

“Mum do I have to have a shower?” said Emma. “Yes Emma,” said mum, “you do,” silence…
BANG! I shut the door. “Well, that’s just stupid!” I yell, “I’m gonna have a bath instead.” “Ok,” said Mum, “at least you won’t be a complete dirty grub, covered in grime and dirt and sticky icky disgusting mud with all this mucky uck in it,” said my mother, who hasn’t had a shower in three and a half days now. “Mum, you haven’t had a shower for about three and a half days now,” I pointed out. I had to make her feel bad for making me have a shower. “Yes, well I was busy and I went to the beach yesterday. I’ll have a shower tomorrow night when you are in bed then I’ll ….” I gave her a deadly look and then I laugh an evil laugh. “Mwah ha ha ha ha, then mother, when you see my evil stare, you will have a shower when I say,” I chant, like I am a mighty wizard. “Yes master,” said Mum (she is pretending to be hypnotised by me). “Mwah ha ha ha, ack cough cough” (I was pretending to laugh like my favourite evil character from a movie I watched when I was ten ). “Ok Mum, I wasn’t being serious, that was just me acting,” I strike a pose while I say this. “Well hone, you’re so good at it,” she compliments. “Mum I …” I start. “I know sweet cakes, you should get a job as an actor when you’re older!” “MUM, I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES, I DON’T WANT TO BE AN ACTOR, I WANT TO BE A VET!!! Jeez get it in your head!” I feel really bad for yelling at Mum. “Well ok, it, it’s just, I thought I would help you… anyway,” Mum said. ‘She must feel really bad,’ I thought. “Ok, look Mum, I’m sorry, you must feel bad because I feel really bad, I’m sorry,” I say. “You now?” She says, “It’s ok because we’re family and a family always loves each other.” “Yeah,” I say, “I love you.”
So I went to have a shower and well this is what happened next, “la lil la la dum da doo” (I sing in the shower it’s a bad habit of mine) “hum ha hoo lumm la loo, what! Mum where’s the shampoo!!! And is there something wrong with the pipe because it has this green and pink haziy stuff coming out of it, er Mum it’s coming out of the drain. MUM it’s heading straight for me, MUM!!! It’s toxic,” I try to tell Mum. “Honey are you ok? Arghhh, what is that thing? Help! No don’t go, EMMA please stop!!!” Mum is panicking. ‘Clonk, bang, crash, suck!’ came a sound from our other bathroom. “Henry, HENRY, NOOOO!!!” “It, it’s makkingg mee slleeeepyy Mumm!!! Helpp, mumm, mummyy…” then it all went black.
I woke like this, “Emma, Emmaa, wake up, wake up.” “Henry? Henry is that you? Oh, I had a really bad nightmare, oh help me up please, come on, Henry what’s up with you? Why aren’t you pulling me up?” I say. “Er well, I don’t want girl germs, ew.” “Hey do you to need some help, because I can help you. Do you need to get to earth? Yes? Well I can build you a teleport to get back home.” So in the end, we all got home and we all went back to living our normal lives.