Masks

• Katie Simkin, Grade 11
• Poetry
• 2015

I’m not what you think I am, I was just pretending.
I don’t actually have a grin from ear to ear everytime you speak.
I don’t smile endlessly at the trees and the fresh air and your presence like you think I do.
I’m not what you think I am, I was just pretending.
I don’t really laugh everytime you touch me after I’ve said no over and over again.
I don’t giggle at the small things you do and the tiny butterflies floating through the sky.
I’m not what you think I am, I was just pretending.
I don’t always cry when we fight and you yell, when you tell me you’re going to leave
I don’t weep when you’ve had too much to drink and you hit me, when you show me I’m not good enough.
I’m not what you think I am, I was just pretending.
I don’t need you to see the person I am underneath, the girl who’s hopes and dreams were ruined by you and only you.
I don’t want you to have the power to tear me down just aboutas fast as I fall when your palm hits my bare skin.
I’m not what you think I am, I was just pretending.
I will never act like myself around you, I will never show you who I am.
I don’t want to show you the person I am under all these tears, fake smiles and lies, under all these scars and fears.
I don’t want to show you the person I am under this mask, these masks I wear.