N U M B

• Hannah Derwent, Grade 9
• Poetry
• 2016

I can’t feel
It hurts to breathe
And I’m sitting here in the water that is now as cold and my frozen over heart
And I’m holding a blade and a bottle of pills and cigarette stubs fill the ashtray and an empty glass of cheap vodka is smashed in the floor but nothing could ever compare to the high I felt when I had you
And now I’m numb and
I’m F A L L I N G
From my high
And everything is darkening and disappearing and dissolving and I think I've smashed my skull
My thoughts will flood out like red butterflies and black shadows
But my walls are closing in and my ceiling is collapsing and no one knows how to catch me
And I can't help but wonder
As the fragments of my bones flutter down like the pollen of the flowers I placed on your grave
Will I ever feel again?