Nana's Romance At The Table Tennis
Diarmid Mcardle, Grade 5, Rosary Primary School
My Nana does world-class fancy table tennis...for senior citizens. My Nana is really wonderful she always walks on tiptoe like she's trying to tap dance across your heart with her brown old lady's shoes; she always wears earth coloured lip stick. My Nana's hobby is table tennis and the story I am going to tell you is when my nana has her romance at the table tennis.
My Nana's table tennis club is filled with grannies like her. But one glorious day there was a group of giggling teenage girls surrounding a strapping young lad. "I'm a top grade dunny man" (a person who collects sewage waste), he said, ooh said the girls "there was one house right where these three boys pegged me with sling shots right and proper."Damn those blighters." He was going to say more but then he saw her - it was love at first sight: she wasn't Cinderella, she wasn't Snow White oh no she was not......she was my Nana!
He pushed aside the extremely startled and very annoyed girls, grabbed my Nana and twirled her about, then they danced the waltz. All while my Nana almost had a heart attack, not least because she is riddled with arthritis. Each and every step and swirl brought forth a cry from Nana so the young lad 'sensibly' took that to mean that she wanted to be flipped and dipped! Then she cried with gusto, "enough! enough! God have mercy on me please save me from this agonising torture." Before falling to the floor and trying to scurry back to her table tennis game. So he grabbed her saying, "Darling, you are my favourite colour - green!
The strapping lad wooed her extravagantly promising her a world of wonder and excitement if only she would have his babies but all she said to that was, "You've missed the boat, matey." So with his heart broken he cried so much that within minutes all the people playing table tennis was wishing that they had brought scuba gear!
Then to her horror a blazing eyed Grandpa walked in!