I Love You Alistair

• Jasmine Barber, Grade 12, Browns Plains State High School
• Short Story
• 2016

Excellence Award in the 'Word Zone 2016' competition

I stood in front of Alistair, holding both of his hands as I gazed at his beauty.
“Alistair Wiseman…” I began with tears in my eyes, “From the moment you were born, I knew that I was destined to meet you. You are my light, my hope and my future. You are everything that I ever wanted and you are all that I ever had and I am grateful for that.”
My voice started to stutter near the end, but I kept a firm grip on his slender hands. My friend, Martin, patted my back a few times before I turned to him and nodded. I took a deep breath and quickly pulled my hand away so I could wipe away the tears that slid down my face and then returned to my place.
“I believe there is a God out there because he had taken the time to make someone so beautiful and so kind to be with me. To hold me when I needed to be held, to say they love me when I needed to be loved. He gave me that angel and I had taken it upon myself to be friends with that angel, to love that angel and to make him my beloved husband,” There was a slight pause. For a moment, I didn’t know what else to say or even do, but I managed to move my trembling lips and finished off my longing words, “And now … that God had also taken you away from me.”
Another tear escaped my eyes and it landed on Alistair’s pale face. I lifted my hand to wipe it away from his cold cheeks and then, once again, I returned my hand onto his, trying to warm his palms as best as I could. The lifeless figure that laid there before me, held no emotion, nothing but a permanent slumber that not even a true love’s kiss could awaken.
“I won’t judge His choices because I know that he has something waiting for you on the other side. And wherever you are, I hope that…” my tears couldn’t be held back anymore and I began to weep an endless stream of tears as I tightened my grip and tried to calm down as best as I could, “I hope … that wherever you are … you are happy and safe. I love you, Alistair Wiseman, to the moon … and back…”
With those final words, I collapsed to the floor and started crying uncontrollably. Martin had to come and pick me up, but I couldn’t even stand, nor did I want to leave his side. My hands held onto the coffin and my eyes began to blur with the tears that spilled out violently as I screamed out in a horrific sorrow. From then on, life was meaningless and yet, I found myself wanting, needing, but my world never made sense anymore. Not after he left.