I AM CAT

• Aiden Ivory, Grade 7B
• Short Story
• 2016

This piece was found on my computer one day, I am sorry about the terrible grammar but whoever typed it was clearly not good with a computer. Hopefully it makes more sense to you than it did to me, enjoy!


Hallo my name iz Hans but ze humans call me Mister Whiskers, stupit name. I am a cat, now yous are probably vondering how I am typing zis fing. Vell one day ze stupit humans vere out doings stuffs. I decideds zat I vould learn to use zat fing zat ze humans call ze computer. I haz seens ze humans doings stuffs on it and I thought zat I should write about my days on it. So let's begins,

It vas a normals day and I vas out hunting for ze food as ze humans never gives me enoughs. I has been lookings for a tasty mouse to eats but nien, none has been seens. I iz smellings anozer cat in mys territorys vhy iz it zere for I haz marked mys territorys very vell. I musts be dealingz wiv zem. I beganz stalkin zem down and planingz how I vill be dealingz wiv zem ven I sees a oranges tail. I knowz it must be ze invaders. I beginz chasing zem down stayingz near ze trees zat I can camoflage myself in. I sees zat zere iz two of zem, ze oranges one and a blacks one. I get readys to pounce but zen I sees vot zey haz found, zey haz found vere ze mouses lives, and zey are goings to catch zem. I run up to zem and begin telling zem zat zis iz mys territorys and zat zey musts be gettings out. But zey are sayings nien, nien, nien! Ands tellings me to leaves. It cant get worse, but zen it does, it was gettings lates and ze humans are callings me ins and if I don't comes soons zey vill locks me out and zen I vill freeze in ze cold. So I am running back to ze door to get in but I am too lates, zey have already locked the door and can't sees me. I begins scratching ats ze door but zey do not hears me.

I haz beens tryings everyfing but zey vill not let me in. I decided to get myself some dinners so zat I don't get hungrys but all I iz findings iz a tinys lizard. But foods is foods and I vill take vot I can, so I chases ze lizard until I iz catching it. I zen eat it ups and begins chasing mys tails untils ze humans let me in. Zey eventually lets me in but I justs scratch them and go and hide. Ohh zey vill pay.

So zat iz a day in mys lifes but ze humans vill be home soons so I musts finishs now so good night.


See very weird... I hope you understood that better than me. Anyways goodbye!