I Fall, I Cry, I Get Back Up

• Heidi Strong, Grade 8
• Short Story
• 2016

I fall, I cry, I get back up. I run to the brick wall. It lies far away, but I need it for safety from the weapons, but mostly from your words. They cut through me like a knife. They were shot at me like a gun and landed in my chest, breaking through my bones to my heart, injuring it. The wall is my protection from the real weapons, what will protect me from your words? I have no wall for my ears or heart.
I bring my injured knees to my chest and let my tears wash the blood away. I clutch my wounded arm and let the pain distract from the despair in my chest. I hang on to the pain like a rope, I pull and pull, waiting for the end to eventually come but it never does. The saltiness of my tears sting my wounds, but this pain is good, unlike the searing heartbreak in my chest. My cries are hiccups, my tears are bulldozers, pushing the dirt off my face before falling and landing on my tender skin.
I gave him the power to hurt me, so he did. So much that I don’t think this hole in my chest will ever heal. People say pain makes you stronger, but right now I feel weak. I now know the truth about love, and I hate it. Love gives someone the power to hurt you.
I want to forget him, but it’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember, good and bad. Deep down I know I still love you, but I also know that you don’t care. These wounds on my body are scars, from you. I’m going to try to let you go…
It hurts to let go, but it hurts more to hold onto these memories. It took a minute to have a crush, a day to love, and I’m sure a lifetime to forget… so I should start now. A lifetime is long, but hopefully by my next life, I won’t remember or feel the pain of my crippled heart.
You broke my heart, but I still love you with most of the pieces. My heart is now a puzzle that I will never be able to put back together. It’s right, but it’s wrong. It’s wrong, but it is also right. I know that it’s wrong, but it is true…
I fall, I cry, can I get back up?