George's Snack

• Zeek Mattarollo, Grade 4, Orama Public School
• Short Story
• 2016

Excellence Award in the 'Word Zone 2016' competition

George, a humungous ape in dinosaur disguise was paddling along in some magical, rainbow monkey water. Majestically diving into the monkey lake, he went through the shining water, glistening in the afternoon, to his red and blue house that was shaped like a banana.
Meanwhile, the pigeon delivery service was having extreme trouble delivering all the bananas and chezzburgers to him. They were going to have to send a HUMAN. DUN DUN!
As George went to his house he checked his presents that had been sent to him this month (he was quite rich, owning two banana companies and the magazine 101 Ways to Use a Banana). He found, to his posh amazement, that there was a letter from the Royal Society of Bananas. It read:
To George N.6373 18-8-6386638
From the Royal Society of Bananas
To George N.6373,
you have won the Bananalicious Banana Bet! You’ve won the magazine How to Eat a Banana volume 6272762737; you’ve also received 1000 complimentary bananas!
-President of the Royal Society of Bananas (AKA RSOB)
George was elated! 1000 bananas was enough to feed him for three entire days! He took in a big sniff of happiness while there was strange kind of glint in his eye; a sort of mix of self-congratulation and pity for the soul that had lost his magazine, topped with a type of madness that happened when you have too much of something. His sniff brought the thought of uncontrollable psychopathic magical fat unicorns.
He smelt flesh.
But not any flesh, human flesh.
But not any human flesh, fat, human flesh.
But not any fat, human flesh, almost extinct fat, human flesh.
He started swimming in such motion that if someone was watching it would all be a big blur. Bursting to the surface of the water that glistened in the late afternoon sun, his big head turned cautiously because, though humans were tasty, they could be VERY, VERY dangerous. He remembered a lesson that he had learned at the school Apetopia: When confronted by a human, use your four senses: taste, chaos, sight and smell. Therefore, he tasted the water and felt the disturbance of what humans called orrrs, or something like that. He already saw the putrid human dressed in something called clothes, and he smelled the annoying thing that the male type called DEE-ODERENT. Then he splashed in the water for extreme fun. While the human was violently thrown overboard into the now churning water, George suddenly made a swirling motion in the water around the human and let out a bellowing roar, one that he hadn’t let out since he had broken the universal banana eating record. While he was doing this, the human was desperately trying to free himself from the ever stronger whirlpool. When finally he felt darkness fall over him, and he slumped to the bottom of the lake, George put him on a blood covered cake, lightly seasoned with bananas and nuts, and maliciously ate him.