Damn It, Lachie!

• Josh Pope, Grade 11
• Short Story
• 2017

I sat on the couch with my hands clenched together with a smug look on my face. I stayed like that until I saw Cory enter the room. "Hey, Ronan. What's up?" he asked. I lost my thought but I still kept my smug face. "Hey, Cory. I'm... Okay, I guess. Not really doing anything." I gained my thought and went back to my previous position. "What's up with your hands and obscenely smug face?" Cory asked. "I'm just waiting for Lachie."
"Why?"
"Because this is the moment when he's finally going to be wrong about something."
"What are you on about?" After that question, I lost my position and didn't return to it. I turned my full attention to Cory. "I'm just so damn sick of Lachie being right about everything. Like, every time I try to do something, he has to come in and correct me like he's the Wikipedia to life!" I could tell that Cory didn't believe me. "Ronan, it can't be every time."
"Oh. Really?" I stared off into space. Or at least, that’s what Cory said. I then wrapped my arm around his head in reply. It was time for a flashback!
One time, I had an apple in my hand and told Lachie that I was about to eat it. He looked confused and said, "That's not an Apple, that's a Nectarine." I looked away tried to release my fuelling anger and jealousy by squeezing the Nectarine mercilessly while muttering "Damn it, Lachie!" under my breath. I was also playing Basketball with him one other time and scored a 10 pointer. At least, that’s what I thought. “Swish! 10 points, baby!” I yelled with excitement. Lachie raised one of his eyebrows. "Actually, that’s just 3 points." He was right again! I looked away and rolled up my fists. "Damn it, Lachie!" I muttered.
After reflecting on those memories, I smiled. "But this time, he's so going to be wrong about this!" I said delightedly. Cory had a straight and unsatisfied face. "Can you please get your hand off my head?” he asked politely. I did what I was told. I shot a really energetic smile when I saw Lachie enter the room. I then began to put my plan into action "Hey, Lachie," I blurted loudly.
"Hey, Ronan," he replied normally. I felt good about this. This is finally going to be my time when I'm right! "Say, Lachie. When do you think the world is going to end?" I asked. "Dunno. Probably a couple billion years maybe." I then pulled out a remote with a massive red button and yelled "Wrong!"
I then pressed the button. The world had ended with an earth-shattering explosion. Lachie was surprised. "Well, what do you know? I was wrong," he admitted
"HA!" I never felt more alive. Even when we’re all about to die.