Now You Know

Excellence Award in the 'Spread The Word 2017' competition

They say it's nothing serious and I'm over reacting, but they don't feel the massive weight on my shoulders and the brick in my stomach. They say I will be fine and I just need to do something else for a while, but they don't see the huge dark hole I'm slowly falling further into. They say it's for attention and I need to stop my nonsense, but they don't hear the thoughts running through my mind. They thank me sarcastically for being quiet, but they don't taste the blood in my mouth from biting my cheek to keep silent. They ignore me because they don't understand the fear overflowing from every little part of me.
I gave up and sat down at my desk. My heart was racing and my eyes watering. I blocked out their voices. 'They don't like me' a voice said. 'They think I'm stupid don't they?' it whispered. I shook my head trying to block out my thoughts and ignore the hollow pit in my stomach. 'They're ignoring me because they don't care, I should just end it all already,' the young voice cracked in sorrow. I felt like I was going to be sick. I looked around the room cautiously.
I stood up abruptly, pushing my chair out with me. The teacher's head snapped in my direction, her gazed hardened on me. I felt my heart leap into my throat. I looked at the door then dashed out of the room. I heard the teacher yell after me as I ran. 'It's not fair, I'm just a burden, and I need to go away!' the voice cried. I ran out of the school gates. The tears I was holding in, now flowed freely down my cheeks like a river. 'Stop it! Go away!' it screamed. I ran down the road, my chocolate hair flickering in and out of my line of vision as it flowed behind me. 'I can't do this!' The voice sobbed.
The further I ran along the street the harder it became to see. Smoke and dust flooded my vision.
'No, stop,' the voice begged. Loud noises erupted around me, planes soared over head and distant explosions were going off. I peered through the smoke, only to find the perfectly good houses were now smashed in or damaged. Alarms went off ringing in my ears. My eyes widened as I looked around. My legs buckled, dragging me down to the ground.
Another plane soared over my head and I heard the terrifying whistle of a bomb fall. Suddenly there was a huge explosion that sent me flying. I tumbled along the ground feeling the road rip at my tender skin and clothes. 'Now you know,' the voice whispered almost too faint to hear.
"Hey, it's okay, I will help you," a voice said. I slowly turned around, as the war around me disappeared. A boy with rosy cheeks sat in the desk behind me.
Anxiety is a war inside your head.

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