Dear Alaska,

Do not be burdened by my lack of presence in your life. Please be happy. Escape this labyrinth of life, death, love and happiness. I may be young. Just a little too young. But I'm gone now, and there's nothing you can do about it and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I never told you about my internal suffering. Please do not cry. Do not shed a single tear. No one will be there to comfort you. Stay strong. Please but do not mourn. Please, please, please keep going. Don't disappear like I did. Stay a little longer. Stay there just for me.

- your little angel, Alexander xxx

A single, hot tear fell down my face. My voice became hoarse from crying as I blamed myself for Alexander’s passing. I didn't deserve to read the heartfelt words written on the crinkled, yellowing paper. I'm so sorry Alexander, I wasn't there for you…

Crackling voices were ringing inside my damaged mind, and gloomy eyes were digging into my burning skull. As days went past, the voices only grew louder and ever more fierce. I hadn't gone outside for weeks, let alone communicate with anyone. My lips had become so dry and cracked, that I couldn't remotely feel them. Every part of my body had become numb and lifeless. I had big, looming bags underneath my eyes from the lack of sleep. I looked like a human train-wreck. My eyes were glassy, and gleaming in the pitch black darkness surrounding me. My old bleached blonde hair was still put up in a messy and limp French braid. Alexander told me I looked prettiest with my hair up and not covering my ‘beautiful’ face.

I was too infuriated to see a microscopical pair of glowing eyes staring at me. I shivered at the sudden urge to turn around. Was there someone there? If so who? Mother? Father? What are those? It was only me left, so who on Earth could be there? I began crying at the excruciating bolts of pain coursing through my veins, as I tried to move towards the now whispering pair of eyes that had appeared to now have a mouth and a face. It scarily resembled someone. Someone so close to me, that it felt like a burning inferno inside my corrupted heart.

The male-looking figure placed his cold hand on my shivering shoulder. It felt unknowingly comforting. His glowing, icy blue eyes stared daggers into my soul as he said those two crippled words, “I'm home.” His raspy voice croaked as he trudged towards me. A single tear, followed by another, then another, dripped down my pale face as my soft doe eyes crinkled upwards and I finally cracked a small yet heartbroken smile. “Hello Alexander. I missed you.” The shadowy-like figure began dissolving into minuscule particles as my eyes bore holes into the fading ghost.

Was her little angel really there? Or was it all just a hallucination?


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