Baby Shoes, Never Worn

• Matilda Handbury, Grade 6
• Short Story
• 2018

"It's your last ultrasound today. We've just got to check one more time to see if she's healthy". The sonographer assured me. She applied the cold, sticky gel to my rounded stomach and started to get the machine ready. But even though I was in a safe place, something didn't feel right. I haven't felt her kick for weeks and I've been feeling nauseous a lot. But the ultrasound is meant to tell us if anything is wrong and everything has been fine, so far.

"Bu-but that's impossible. Th-there must be some mistake!" I stammer as tears started to plummet from my eyes. She looks just fine on the screen, perfect, flawless. But that's on the outside. On the inside there's nothing. No veins, no organs, no lungs. Nothing to keep her breathing stable. The tab on her computer bears three words, Heartbeat Not Detected.

I wish it was a dream. I wish that Rose was here. Curled into a small pink ball in my arms. Except the only thing on my lap now is tears, salty and bitter. I wish for a happier ending. But I only have myself. Wishing upon my lucky star that doesn't exist.

A garage sale not for used things. A garage sale for happy, clean, colourful toys and clothes. A garage sale for happy parents. For people with healthy children. My envy for them is a raging storm. The numbness of my heart has consumed my entire body. Only I can feel my pain. Tear stained, puffy eyed, shaking fingers, me. Behind the new, untouched cradle is a cross made of stone, littered with flowers.
Roses.