I Do Not Like Him

The wind furiously blew into my face. Like all the harsh voices telling me to try to go for the ball. “Just try get the ball. Doesn’t matter if you get tagged.” The voices were an eruption to my ears. All I could hear were voices that were trying to teach me, but I did not want to be taught.

I felt like everyone resented me. The whistle blew from behind me. I jogged. Not fast enough to catch up to the others, that were so far ahead it seemed that they were miles from me. “Good job, Anna!” I wish I was the one being cheered on. I feel a pain of jealousy. I know that I could get the ball, it’s just that I am not confident, and I do not want him to see me liking his subject.

My smile faded into a frown, curving at the ends of my lips. I try to tag my teammate, but they easily avoid getting tagged. Should I give up? Somehow he does not understand me, he does not comfort me, nor ask me how I was feeling. All those affectionate days received was just a misunderstanding. He could be trying to make conversation with me, and not want to hug me.

I wish I had my old mate with me. So that she’ll remind me to move and not just stand there. The sun is blazing on my skin, it’s hot and I feel tired, as if it was there to heat me up more. The whistle blows for the second time “Blue team wins,” he announces. “Congratulations!” Clapping now replaces voices that haunt me. Each clap I feel is a pain of guilt and regret. I had let them down. I had let him down. He never liked me, and I will not dare to fall into the trap. I do not like him.