Cyber-Stress

• Raja Lucia, Grade 6, Bibra Lake Primary School -
• Short Story
• 2018

Excellence Award in the 'Write Along 2018' competition

‘I log onto the computer onto my social media page. Momentarily forgetting what usually lies in wait for me there. I do not know why I even look anymore. I guess it is something that once I start doing, I just cannot stop…
The messages are there again, who am I kidding. There always there. My heart starts beating. Fast. I can feel an anxiety attack coming.
‘Stop, just stop it’s no big deal’ I tell myself. However, I am lying, it is a big deal, for me anyway. I do not want to end up in hospital again but this attack is the worse than the last. I can feel it. My breathing is coming out in shallow rasps; all I can think about is if they really would kill me… I am not getting enough oxygen, my vision blurs with black dots, I am losing consciousness.
Maybe I should, surrender?
Maybe I should die? Then I would not have to face them anymore…
‘NO. I WILL NOT LET IT GET THE BEST OF ME!’ I inwardly scream. I force myself to take slow shallow breathes and bit by bit, I start to regain myself. I stare at the screen and my body threatens to give me another attack. Instead of an anxiety phase, I drop to the floor as if I am trying to hide from something that will not come. Yet. I lay there not bothering to get back up again. Instead, I try to forget about what has been affecting me for the past month that I worry will go on forever. But I can’t, all I come back too are the words that threaten me. Threaten my health. Threaten my life. I think it’s called cyberbullying. I have not told anyone about it.
Maybe it’s time that I explained to someone about the ongoing issue that has caused me my mental destruction.
I always thought that nobody could help me. That nobody could help prevent the bullying remarks that people tell me on social media, getting to me. However, my anxiety attacks are getting worse and worse every time I receive a new message, I never realised how much things scare me.
I think it is time for me to tell someone about the people that I befriended on my social media that now say they will come and murder me in my sleep, that say they will beat me up … I don’t want to but I have to think realistic, if I do not tell anyone about it, how much worse will it get?
I just need to have faith and trust that all will be well in the end because everything will turn out okay if I believe.’
I wake up crying, what a terrible dream. I wish my parents hadn’t told me about the troubles of their time. Thank God, I don’t live in the time of cyberbullying, it’s the year 2035 and cyberbullying is a thing of the past.