Hope

As I weaved through the crowded streets, I was suffocated by the assortment of perfumes and cologne that radiated off peoples’ bodies. A woman rushed past me, her soft blonde curls brushing against my shoulder. She applied scarlet-stained lipstick and hesitantly tossed her coffee cup into the bin. I stared down at the ground and played with my rough hair, looked at my grimy shoes and unclipped nails; embarrassment pulsating through my body. I gazed through the crowds, catching glimpses of her perfect golden locks and listened to the sound of her stiletto heels meeting the cobblestone. I retreated to the shadows, whispers filling my head; engulfed by fear and regret. Why do I care? It’s not like anyone can see me anyways. I am imaginary.
Glass broke under the weight of my feet, just as my heart had broken under the weight of loss. I gazed down at my shaking hands, examining each blister and scar, reminiscing on the tokens of my past life. I clenched my fists as if anger was my only escape. I was merely an accessory to someone; an accessory that was to be hidden in a drawer and forgotten about with time.
My hand folded to fit the small palm that I had once cherished, but only numbing air greeted me. The familiarity of the way the skin around her mouth would crease when she smiled, and the way her hazel eyes would twitch when she sensed adventure, haunted me every time I closed my eyes. I started as a joy, an excitement, and slowly morphed into an annoyance, an embarrassment, and eventually a danger. I know this, I do, but I don’t deserve this life.
Snow began to fall on my hunched back as I wandered through the streets. Isolation numbed me, but so did the cold. I followed the shadows, but no shadow followed me. I was alone. My effects on reality mattered, but I only mattered with reality. I gazed down at the blanketed pathway beneath me, examining the footprints of previous amblers. I stopped and stared behind me. There were no footprints. There weren’t even any signs of my existence.
I leaned onto the brick wall; people rushing past me, some stepping on my feet. A frazzled woman stepped out of the cluster, mascara running down her face. She held her head in her hands, golden locks spilling across her back. My eyes fixated onto her, the rest of the world blurring. She steadily raised her head and shifted her gaze to me. She reminded me of someone I used to know. Someone I loved. She had the same glow.
“What?” She mumbled though still with poise in her voice. My heart stopped, muscles tensed. “You can see me?” I replied with a croak, my voice adjusting. “Is that bad?” She responded as she wiped away the tears from her face. My fists unclenched, shoulders dropped. “No. No, it’s fine.”

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