If Only

• Millie Andrews, Grade 10
• Short Story
• 2019

It was like the first scene of a movie. Slow-motion. The noise of the bustling corridor drowned out by echoing footsteps, moving towards the exit. A voiceover began, her own, internal thoughts being broadcast to anyone who cared enough to listen.
‘If only you knew what my life was like.’
No one had taken any notice of her. No one cared enough to listen. You see, she had tried everything she could. People saw her as a lost cause, a waste of space. It was inevitable that eventually, she would believe that too. All day she had asked the universe for a sign, any little thing that might suggest that her life was still worth living.
‘If only you stood where I stand.’
Then, it came. The dreaded buzz from her pocketed phone. For a moment she froze, wondering what more anyone could say to her. There was nothing that could change her mind now. She was too far gone.
She slung her bag over her shoulder, head down, avoiding eye contact at all costs. People stepped out of her way, unwilling to say anything. Every step towards the exit came with a sense of twisted relief, that soon, this nightmarish reality would all be in the distant past.
‘If only someone cared.’
Do you know what she did that night? She went home to where she should have been safe from it all. She said her final goodbyes. She took her last, sighing breath, satisfied that she would be at peace.
‘If only.’

If just one person had stopped her in that hallway, spoken to her, she might still be here. If just one person had smiled at her, even acknowledged her, it might all have come tumbling out. If just one person had stood up for her, she might have kept on fighting.
But they didn’t. The universe told her that no one cared.
She was invisible to everyone, until she was gone.