MY LOVE



`` area of the circle is equal to the radius squared, times pi…”

I rose out of a deep stupor to jot down a few notes in my book. God, I hated school. All it was were kids judging each-other and learning formulas that would no doubt be forgotten before next period and never thought of again. It was all so tedious, and part of the reason why I wanted to end my life. Well, one of many.

“if the diameter is 5cm what does the circle equal? Miss asked
“…Yes, Rowan?”

Rowan… I hadn’t heard that name before. They were probably new.
“Welcome to hell’ I muttered darkly.

Perched at the end of my bed later that day, I wept-a cry that’s completely silent but aches so much you can barely stand it. The kind that makes you feel if jumping off a bridge is a better alternative. The tears blurred my vision, so I looked into my mirror. Staring straight into my eyes, the tears stopped instantly. I could see the dark bruises… and more. As a locked gaze with my own eyes I had a surreal feeling an out of body experience where you realise that your very soul is stuck in a physical body, and that your body and mind are two very different things. It was a peculiar feeling, like someone else was in your mind.

I blinked; the moment ended.

The next morning, I had math again.
“Eliza” called my arithmetic teacher
“here” I mumbled
“Rowan”

I looked up. Rowan was a short, dark haired kid hunched over in a desk in the front row. Somehow, I was interested in Rowan, like they were just like me. Something about the way they sat just screamed “they’re like you!” … I don’t know maybe I was just so deprived of social interaction that my brain imagined it- but I decided to talk to Rowan.

As the rest of the class jostled out the door for lunch, I slowly packed my things. I slung on my backpack and took a breath
“Hey… Rowan…” I stammered
“oh… um hi? ...”
“…Eliza”
“Hi Eliza… Do you want something?”
“oh, no I just wanted to say hi…uh… see you tomorrow…”
Embarrassedly, I turned my back to leave
“Wait!”
I spun back to Rowan
“…are you okay?”
“huh?”
“look Eliza, I know I only just met you 5 seconds ago, and I hope I’m not intruding, but you look terrible”
“…no” I managed to whisper; and broke down.

That night I lay spread eagled staring into space. I felt embarrassed but happy, as it turns out Rowan was lot like me… a lot.

~MONTHS LATER~

Bustling down the crowded hall I hear a shout
“Eliza!”
“Hey Rowan!”
Rowan grabbed me and pecked my cheek.
“love ya ‘liza.”
That’s the great thing about us dating [yeah, we date]
I’m supported and loved continually by Rowan.
But do you know what the best thing about Rowan is?

Rowan’s a girl.

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