Mack

• Isabella Parsons, Grade 12
• Short Story
• 2020

I was in love with him for two years, but he never knew. I was always there – just there – nothing more.

He had a clear dating routine – he always seemed to be in a relationship – a relationship that was always short-lived. Yes, an immediate red flag - I know. But from the moment he smiled he had me, and for some damn reason, I couldn't seem to let him go.

There was a split moment during those two years when I genuinely believed something was happening between us. We had a spark that was too real to deny – or at least, for me it was. But then I found out he was dating my best friend. God that broke me. I never imagined that the two people I loved most would end up hurting me the way that they did. But of course, I had no right to be mad – he was, after all, not my boyfriend. She never knew, of course, that I was madly in love with him - what a mess that would be. All I ever wanted to do was make him happy, but he didn’t want my happiness, he wanted hers.

I won't spare you all the details, but one thing led to another and a year later I finally got my chance with him. Naturally, I had my guard up – we had been close friends for two years now, why was he suddenly interested in me? I promised myself I wouldn't fall for him. But it was 2am and we were cuddling, and for the first time in a long time, I was happy – happier than I ever thought I could be – and in that moment I knew I was screwed. I had fallen for the boy who broke every girl's heart.

I should've know that people with good hearts are always unlucky in relationships. He told me he loved me. I told him too. The only difference is, I actually meant it. I cared about him beyond all rationality. I wanted him to have everything he wanted no matter how much it destroyed me...because I loved him. And I knew I could never stop. Ever.

But like in most relationships, things eventually changed – he changed but I didn't – and he wanted to move on. It hurt though – seeing how easy it was for him to go from being my boyfriend to a complete stranger in just a few days. I suppose that sometimes you just have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be. And even though I've told myself a thousand times to move on, there's a part of me still holding on to something that I know will probably never happen, because deep down inside of me, I have this little piece of hope that someday, perhaps it will - perhaps he will love me again. Because in the end, don't we all just want someone that chooses us...over everyone else?