Quatervois

• Jemma Mcluckie, Grade 9
• Short Story
• 2021

The mirror that lay in front of me exhibited my exhausted figure; a common sight nowadays. The unshed tears that had blurred my vision threatened to fall at any moment. My troubled mind only had a minute to observe the unpleasant sight of my frail reflection that stood motionlessly in the mirror before it jumped back to them.

They broke me. It’s their fault that I’m like this. The bittersweet memories of the time we spent together clouded my mind like a thick blanket, unmoveable. It was hard to think of anything but them. The being that once comforted me was now the reason I was uncomfortable; but no matter how hard I’d previously tried, I couldn’t let them go. They were on my mind every minute of every day, and I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about them.

It had been half a year since I’d last spoken with them, and yet it felt like yesterday when I was in their warm, secure arms. Those arms were like my safe place, the place where I felt most comfortable, and without them, I felt lost. Like I was slowly disappearing away from myself as each painful day passed.

I wondered about them. How they were, what they were doing, and yet I could guarantee that
I’d be the last thing they would think about. Like a spot of dirt in a colossal garden of roses, I was the most insignificant thing in their life. I was consumed by them, and they’d discarded me from their life.

When we parted, I knew that it would be hard to let go. But I never expected that it would take me so long to even get them off my mind. They consumed my mind and body, leaving me as a mere skeleton of the person that I used to be. I’d lost weight, my personality, and my interest in everything but them.

A while ago, I got myself up and told myself that I would let go of them. But I couldn’t. My life had fallen apart to a point beyond simple repair, and it only got worse. But today was the day. I’d tried and failed before, but it was time now. Today, I would let them go.

It took a while, but I’d finally grieved over them for long enough. I had to let go. It was as if I could hear them telling me to let them go, but I’d refused. But not anymore. It was time. I let the last of my tears roll out of my glassy eyes as I reminisced on the events that had caused me such anguish. I laughed, I cried harder, then I woke myself up. I opened my eyes to the world, ready to face it for the first time in what felt like forever.

For the first time, I felt hope for myself, for them, and for the world.