Snake On Steroids

• Benjamin Aranha, Grade 8
• Short Story
• 2021

“Triple zero, what’s your emergency?”
“My cat has just been eaten by a massive snake!”
“Alright Madam, calm down. Are you in a safe place where the snake can’t reach you?”
“Yes, I’m in my room and I’ve locked the door.”
“Good, and can you tell me where you are so we can send an exterminator?”
“Ok, I live at 16 Serpiente Lane, Stafford, Brisbane.”
“Thank you, a reptile catcher will be on his way shortly.” Beep.

“Knock, knock, knock…Hey, I’m Dylan the reptile catcher. Do you still know the snake’s whereabouts?”
“Yes, the snake is lying out in the sun, out back.”
“Cheers”

Dylan proceeded to walk to the other side of the house and the moment that he saw the gargantuan red-bellied black snack his jaw hit the floor. After he had recovered, he called boss saying that they weren’t dealing with a snake they were dealing with a monster, the size of a family SUV! For this, they were going to have to bring in the big guns. Steve Irwin the croc wrestler, strong as an ox and twice as manly. So, Steve was shot a call explaining the situation and he said that he would be there in an hour, tops.

An hour later, Steve Irwin has arrived at the scene. Tranquiliser needle at the ready and his plan set into action. What he had to do was sneak up behind the snake and fix its tail to the back of his Ute, stick in the needle and drive away. In other words, his normal Sunday morning. This was a lot easier to say than do thought. He had also brought along with him an antidote as no insurance company would let him have only a plan A.

The fight that ensued was so amazingly Australian, that it can only be told with a snag and a beer/apple juice (depending on your age). It can be summed up with success that his plan worked and he didn’t need the antidote. He made headlines all around the world.

The world record breaking snake was taken to Australia Zoo where it is looked after by the whole Irwin family and will live out the rest of its days with 5-star mice.