Bored To Death

My last breath, the last trickle of light fades, black. A calming melody plays, a simple but pleasing tune. A loud authoritative voice rang out from seemingly nowhere, “ can 793B, please make their way to the gate”, I looked down to my lap, seeing a crisp white rectangular piece of paper, on it, it said “condemned 793B”. I looked up from my paper and saw a small screen with numbers and letters being called on it at unbelievable speeds. I looked around at my surroundings, only seeing a thick cloud of fog and a row of seats so long I couldn’t see if it ended.

I stand up from my seat, the thick fog clears from in front of me and from the fog and small automatic door appred, a faint yellow glow shines through it, obstructing the view of what lies behind the doors. I felt a sudden urge to enter the gate, I started sprinting uncontrollably for the doors, as soon as I made contact with it I felt a jolt of energy surge through my body and a light blinded me. I come too, I hear the soft rustling of paper, telephones ringing, people gossiping and the clacking of keys on old mechanical keyboards. Suddenly I hear a low nasally voice “hello 793B welcome to your afterlife” I look at my surroundings noticing a 80s style office with orange walls and beige tile floors. Something was off, I turned to a cubicle next to me and saw a skeleton with a baby blue dress with pink floral patterns on it with what looked like a red wig. I looked down at my hands only to see smooth white bones where flesh and blood used to run.

After further examining my body I asked the skeleton “why were all skeletons wearing dorky outfits?” To which he replied calmly and nonchalantly “HR just think this just suits our line of work,” “what line of work?” I replied hastily “well, you know the grim reaper, well there’s actually thousands of those guys, and someone has to do the paperwork for them” he said once more with a casual tone “so this is what I’m doing for the rest of eternity?” I said with annoyance “yessum, you weren’t bad on earth but you weren’t good, you were mediocre, this is what mediocrity gets you, but we have a foozball table in the lunchroom, wanna see?” He asked with excitement “where is HR!” I demanded, “down the hall, first left then keep walking until you see a golden door” he blurted out.

I rounded the corner and looked toward a massive golden door bejewelled with rubies and sapphires and in the middle of the door is a small brown sign that read HR management, please ring before entering and at that very moment a small doorbell appeared next to the sign, I rang it and almost immediately a loud booming voice commands me to come in.

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