Bob The Two Year Old
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Toby Wild, Grade 5
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Short Story
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2022
There once was a two year old named Bob. Bob had his own apartment. Some more things you need to know about Bob is he had never had coffee in his life. (He had tasted Coke, Mountain Dew and Powerade, but not coffee.)
Bob worked as a postman, but he didn’t like it one bit. He drove to work in his fancy green Ferrari and used metal stilts to reach the pedals.
You see Bob was the descendant of Einstein. You know, the famous smart guy! Bob is probably the smartest kid in the universe. Why is he working as a postman? Well it was the only job that would take a two year old.
One morning Bob woke up, did all his boring stuff to get ready for work and went out to get a coke. But, where the ‘everything except coffee store’ should’ve been, an ‘only coffee store’ was instead.
“Noooooooooooooooooooo!” screamed Bob as he ran inside the shop, but since he was two it sounded more like “Bwubbershwubber!”
Running up to the coffee guy Bob said, “What is... what… is coffee!?” But, again, since he was two it sounded more like, “Wa da wa is poffee!?”
“I hope that you didn’t just say that you don’t know what coffee is because it is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!” said the coffee guy. “But I can’t give it to you because you’re too young for coffee.”
Bob didn’t like this one bit, so he jumped up on the counter like a monkey and bopped that unkind man on the nose!