Maybe In Another Life

• Catalina Carroll, Grade 9
• Short Story
• 2022

The sun was sweltering, summer heat enveloping all who stood on the bare dirt ground, and I hadn't eaten in days.
A crowd had gathered in the centre of the town square.
I was overtaken by a raw sense of curiosity that all but consumed me, and I caught the eye of the man everyone was gathered around--he was feeding the masses, and soon me as well.
The man smiled, holding out a hand clasping a piece of bread.
"You look hungry."

I felt a sharp pang in my chest.
You'd expect that feeling to be hunger, and I did too.
Only years later did I realise it was love.

From that day onwards, I yearned for something, but I could never tell what.
That is, until I saw him again.
He did not recognise me, but I saw his oh-so-recognisable face and felt the same thing I felt as the first time I laid eyes on him.

He smiled his same generous smile, and I knew that was how I would give anything for him to keep that smile.
In fact, then and there, I asked him with a soft whine in my voice, "may I please join your side?"

Of course, he said yes.

Now, I stare at the man before me, wondering how it came to this.
I would give anything for him to keep that smile, but now I shall see him persecuted at the fault of my own hand. See him burnt at the stake for crimes against an unjust state, an unjust state ruled by the bourgeoisie, the corrupt, the crooked. And I was the one who told our own oppressors of his so-called sins.

His kindness caught my eye, his kindness drew me to him, and his kindness took him away.
He insisted on freeing prisoners who were unjustly taken.
The government was corrupt, and he protested against the bureaucracy.
In truth, his kindness was just a selfish desire of his.
Those "prisoners" he freed--one was his lover, his soulmate, his other half.
Jealousy is the worst sin a man can commit to.

I am a sinner.

Fate doomed us together, and fate doomed us apart, but I cannot blame the gods above for how you make me feel.
This wretched sense of beauty lays in a place in my heart only Helel can own.
The devil himself betrayed his lord, and I think he felt this feeling too.
So Helel, Satan, Lucifer--whatever name he lays claim to tonight--can lay claim to me, too.
Coloured leaves dance all around me in a myriad of colours, and my voice lets go of a breath I've been holding since the day I saw his picturesque face.
The devil can take me with him.
I'll never see my love when he arrives in heaven.
Maybe in another life, my eyes will catch yours, and this time the stars will allow us to stay together in love and in light.