Madre

Three o'clock rang, sounding the demise of another day. I jumped into the bus, my transportation back to my safe haven. The voices of the other children sounded like drills in my ears; you know how much I despised crowded areas. I pulled out my iPod, turned Led Zeppelin up. But then...
“Your mama's been in an accident... She fell at work. Split her head open on a metal screen,” Grandpa whispered, running a hand over his face. “She's in the hospital.”
I didn't come to school the next day, Mama. I came to see you. You wouldn't have known, you were unconscious in the special room where serious injuries were treated in peace. I was afraid to walk around that curtain, Mama, I didn't want to see you in any other way than hearing you laugh. The doctors had done some kind of scan, but I didn't know anything yet, I was just the child. Papa drew back the curtain slightly and there you were. You were sleeping, dosed with pain killers. I tried to swallow the sob that was threatening to send me into a meltdown; I couldn't help it. Your skin was a pale yellow colour, you looked as if you were dead. You slowly opened your eyes, you looked at me, and smiled.
I took your hand in mine, I couldn't speak. I couldn't tell you that this image would be burned into my memory forever.
We sat together, you and I, for five minutes at the most. The nurses asked me to leave so you could get some more rest. I kissed your cheek softly, I didn't want to leave you, I was so scared.
Days had passed and I'd found out you had a brain tumour. I wasn't the same after that. I went back to school after two weeks, but all these people, all their problems didn't matter. The doctors didn't know anything else about your condition and it scared me, Mama. Papa was a wreck, he'd spend day after day with you at the hospital. Little brother never said anything, he didn't want anyone to know how he felt, I guess. But I couldn't do it anymore, Mama. I had to grow up so quickly, though I didn't know it. I saw pride and sorrow in your eyes, reflecting the knowledge that I'd lost my childhood inside one month.
As the days passed, I sank deeper into my shell; my nice, warm, safe shell. Nobody could hurt me. Only me. My time flowed slowly, gliding upon the veil of my naked skin. I watched the essence of myself run down into the drain; if you had to go through pain, so would I. I would share it with you. My blood had been flowing like oceans, my tears hadn't stopped; if they weren't visible on the outside, it was because there was a plug trying to hold in the waterfall that threatened to spill out of the confines of my heart.

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