I Am Dead!

• Patrick Jeffs, Grade 5
• Short Story
• 2009

“I am dead! I was running for my life with angry mobs and vicious dogs on my tail. A brick was in the angry mob and the brick was bad at chasing but he was good at tripping. He tripped me over and I fell into a ditch with cute little squirrels and bunnies. There was another problem, they became vicious with sharp teeth. That was my bad dream mum,” said Greg.
“Honey, you have to stop telling us lies Greggy,” said Mum.
“I don’t care about what he says, we have got work to do,” shouted Greg’s dad.
“Come on Edward,” mum said.
“Don’t you talk to me,” said dad. “It’s your fault that this kid hasn’t got a future.”
“My fault? It’s more like your fault,” said Mum.
“Bye pa, bye ma, gotta go, I won’t get chased again,” said Greg.
“Stop lying to us. Wait up dude,” said mum.
“Mum, you’re still not cool, hast la vista,” said Greg.
“Hey dude!”
“Hey Mat,” said Greg.
“That’s not the best welcome from my best buddy, so what’s up?” said Mat.
“My parents are fighting again, they are so annoying. They fight all day and night and it’s sickening. See you later,” said Greg.
School is boring…so boring. I sleep every class except gym where the coach yells at me, but I’ve worked out a brilliant plan. I am going to break into his office and get his diary and tell everyone in school.
“Hey everybody, the coach has a diary or should I say Nancy has a diary!”
“Greg, every day I see you here,” said the principal.
“You mean in the hall?” said Greg hopefully.
“No, in my office! I might have to call your parents for this one.”
“No you don’t, it’s not that big a deal.”
“Oh yes it is, you have been doing this for ages. You even gave me a Texas Wedgie!” said the principal.
“When did I do that?”
“Ah hi mum, hi dad.”
“Son, we are very disappointed with you,” said Mum.
“I wasn’t the one who gave the principal a Texas Wedgie,” said Greg.
“It’s not hat, you are not concentrating in any of your classes. Besides you don’t listen to your mother, all you have to do is learn how to plant plants. This boy should be doing more land work with me,” said Dad.
“Ah mum, dad, I am going to play with Mat.”
“Who’s Mat?”
“Mum, you don’t even know my best friend. I am sick of this,” shouted Greg.
“I guess we should have stopped fighting Greg,” said Mum softly.
“Yeah, all I want to do is spend time with you guys,” said Dad. “But who gave the principal the Texas Wedgie?”