Hairy Chocolate

"Finally, I have created perfect weapon!!" Professor Plum exclaimed, throwing his tiny, bonny arms into the air.

Professor Plum was (he’s dead now, you’ll find out in a minute) a mad scientist. Why is he so mad? You ask, when he was small toddler (he quite a plump child then) he accidentally swallowed his brother’s pet frog (His brother is dead now too though, died from a broken heart).

Plum, (I should mention that he hates anybody that calls him that... oops) from that day on, he a terrible eating disorders. He became skinnier and skinnier, until it came to a time when he stopped eating completely for 10 years (he was about 30 then) Then, after his long famine, he finally ate one thing: a chocolate bar. Not the best thing he should have eaten after not eating for a while, but he did. Unfortunately, the chocolate bar was mouldy (of course, it would be after about 10 years).

Somehow or another it affected his brain and went mad. And having the Gene's of his father (who was a scientist) he made experiments. Not good ones either, bad ones such as Ray guns and Lab ray (which unbelievably could change your gender). Then while making his new experiment, the death ray, he got a flash back of all the memories about when he was a little boy and onwards.

From then onwards, he was trying to make experiments to make everybody else hate chocolate bars, just as he did... and this time he some how had succeeded....
" Now," He said, rubbing his hands together, as many evil people do when they are succeeding a evil plot
" I will test it on chocolate lover.... how or how will I do that...." He continued, looking into what he called the " Tell-Tale Ball"
The ball turned white, and in the middle was a picture a his Window mother, mourning in his brother’s and father’s grave… (His father died, making one of experiments, just as Plum does....)

" Mother, oh mother, I have a present for you" He said, (he was now at " Caramelville Graveyard”) limping towards his mother, mourning at his family’s grave. ( so far any way)

He was now next to his mother, with a smirk on his face, wearing his best clothes.
" You’ve done a experiment, haven’t you?" She Enquired
" That's the kind of grin your father would have on his face when he made an experiment. I know that all to well.... all to well..."
Her voice trailed off, followed by a whole heap of sobbing. After his mother had finished wiping her eyes, knew this was the perfect time to strike his first victim.
" Mother, would you like one of my, new and improved chocolate bars? " He asked " I even made it with double caramel like you love it..."
" Thanks you son..." She said, carefully unwrapping the chocolate bar

" Are you sure its safe? "She asked, picking at the hair on the chocolate bar
" It’s artificial gummy hair, that tastes like caramel " He reassured her
" ok, if you really insist…" She said slowly, as if she couldn’t get the words out

" In the name of my dead husband and son, I will eat this double caramel bar!! " She said, as if she was taking to the dead ones them self, (she had a habit of doing that, ever since her loved ones had died) as she took a bite out of the chocolate bar.

Immediately, she sat it out, throwing the rest on the chocolate bar on the ground.
“What are you trying to do Plum?” She asked, her rage building up inside of her
“Are you trying to kill me or....” Her mouth, opened and closed, like a goldfish, as if she was being chocked.

“Hel...p...m…e....” She gasped.
“ Mwwhahaha” He laughs, as all evil guys do (in most fairy tales I’ve heard, any way)
“ Ememmm….” He coughed, grabbing a cough lolly out of his pocket
“ I should work on my laughing, anyway I can do that later. Ta-ta forever!!” He waved at his mum, thinking of all the people he would target next.
“ Well, I could target the guy with the annoying guy with that stupid dog, and…”
His voice trailed off…
“NO!! How could project hairy chocolate not kill her? How? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!”
He yelled, falling to onto something squishy…

Professor plum, hurriedly walked back to his, what I would call mansion; he could already hear the ambulance on the way.

“ How could I…Have made a mistake in such thing… maybe I need it to have more power… that’s it; POWER!” He mumbled, strapping the chocolate bar into the… well what looked like a dentist’s chair; I don’t think I would like to be in that situation – and I thought going to the dentist was bad!
The clock struck midnight… Lighting struck across the sky… finally his ultimate creation was complete!
“Mwwwwhaaaa, now my creature, arise to your master!” Another lightning bolt shot across the sky.

Sorry for interruption, but we suggest readers who like soppy endings (like when they live happily ever after) to go to page *.
Other readers…. Read at you’re your own risk…

The creature, unlike Frankenstein, did not unstrap the bolts tightening it; instead it just sat there like all chocolate bars would. (Except for the fact it was hairy)
Then it started to twitch, and squirm, as if it were struggling to get out.
“ Get, my poor beast… get up!” He yelled at it, frantically undoing it’s knots, trying not to squash the chocolate bar. As quick as a flash, lighting stuck the machine’s radar, electrifying the circuits. The last thing Plum remembered was looking, mouth watering at the chocolate….

“ It something likes a chocolate bar… double caramel chocolate bar…”
Explained plum’s mother (he’s dead now…), later that day, mouth watering
“And it was all hairy, I don’t know why I trusted that boy…”
Said very slowing, taking the last rest and breath of her life….

“ Me chocolate must destroy people….” Said the Hairy Chocolate walking out into the freedom of the busy street, just as it prepared its rampage all over the city.

“Mummy” Gaggled a innocent toddler to its mother (Plum’s down-the street neighbour) “Look at chocolate...”
“-Gasp- son, don’t touch it…” She started off….

All that came after that was some gasping, an ambulance, and two parents dieing from a broken heart.

Many stories like that were reported that day, and the next and, and the 3 month after that; by then, almost 80% of Caramelville’s population had dropped; If I were to explain all of them... we would be here forever. Who ended up stopping this criminal mastermind? Well, it all happen when Hairy Chocolate decided to pay Plum’s neighbour a visit…

“Poochy, stop barking will you?” Asked Mr Zeloica, to his pet dog, Poochy

In case you didn’t know, Poochy is a beautiful grey Chiwawa, with a prize diamond collar. Where did his retired owner get to afford such a collar, you ask. Well it’s simple. You see, Poochy is prized, getting entered it heaps of contest in Caramelville. He treated his pooch like a star, letting him even have his our bed. Poochy was (he isn’t any more) entered in many contest’s and beauty contest, and even won the award for the prettiest pet in all of Caramelville. (A frog pedicular unbelievably was voted 2nd…)

“ Is something wrong girl?” He asked soothingly “ Has that mad scientist come back?” (They hadn’t had the best of experiences as neighbours…)
Something rustled in the bushes… Poochy dived in, coming back with the chocolate bar in his mouth.
“ Oh my word…” Said Mr Zeloica, fainting away right there on the spot
The chocolate bar wriggled, trying to get out of the strong grip that held him in place.
Poochy, being a smart dog, ran towards the hospital, trying to get the chocolate bar out of his mouth, in order it pant: it was stuck!
He ran along to the hospital, not stopping, not even to cock up a leg. Eventually he did get to the hospital, sore and as tired as he was.
“ Look, isn’t that Mr Zeloica’s dog?” Asked someone
“Yeah, and look, the hairy chocolate!” Said other
“ Let’s go check it out!” Said the receptionist

The ambulance siren was heard the night. I think Mr Zeloica died in hospital that night, if not, well he would be really old by now. Want to hear about Poochy, don’t you? Well you see, nobody knows; that’s the mystery of the story. Some say that they saw him swallow the chocolate bar and die, some say that he swallowed the bar, lived, and journeyed with a pack of wild dingo’s; but one thing’s for sure: there were no more deaths, no more pain in Caramelville, and no more sightings of the hairy chocolate bar. Either way Poochy was known as a national hero: they even built a statue in memory of Poochy -

Page * (the soppy ending)

Then Plum had an idea!
“ I know,” He said joyfully
“I’ll make lots and lots of chocolate’s for all the little kiddies in the world!”
“And…” He added sheepishly “ I better apologise to my mum.”
So, he stayed up all night long, making chocolate for all the little girls and boys.
He was very tired in the morning, but it was worth it cause in the end, he turned his mansion in to chocolate factory; from then on he was known as Mr Plumberton. He even started travelling the world. Then, one unexpected day, he got a letter -

Now that was an offer he couldn’t resist! So, he travelled all the way to Mars, stopping only at the Milky Way to get more chocolate supplies. When they got there they found, that where a colony of chocolate loving aliens, that owned enough space shuttles to bring the whole of China to Mars! So, in exchange for usage of the space o their space shuttles’, they gave them chocolate. So now, Mr Plumberton ending up living on Mars, running a famous chocolate factory on Mars; not only for little kiddies, but also for a wide variety of aliens!
And they lived happily ever after,

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