I Hope

• Lonneke Bevan
• Short Story
• 2006

I dread the call of voices.
These voices I can only hear.

My mind reals with madness.
Am I mad?
These pills I take at certain times.
Without them here they come.
Here they come with words of horror, words of devastation. All these words against me.
These voices plague my being.
I will survive....
I hope.

My ma, she comes at 3 o'clock.
Where is she?

I hear them coming, I hear them whispering...
Ma where are you?

They tell me I am no good.
Am I? I think.
I try to calm down. I try to breathe.
I hope.

I see a car, I see another.
None are her.
Ma, Ma?
They are coming closer. I can feel it.
They are yelling at me now. SCREAMING, SCREAMING, SCREAMING.
She is just running late I assure myself. But they just laugh and jeer at me.
Oh where is she..
All I can do is hope.

I see a car, can I trust my eyes.
No.
No they tell me. NO.
But who is that. Ma I yell.
Ma they screech. Now there voices are now inaudible.

I swallow the pill. I gulp down water.

I hear nothing.....
All I do is hope.